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Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
It is highly argued by some sections of society, that
university
students
 should learn other topics
in addition
 to their main ones,
however
, others assert that they must dedicate all their time and energy to receive a degree,
While
 the arguments on both sides are valid, there is, in my point of view, the former group sounds more justified. To commence with, those who advocate gaining
knowledge
 in other
courses
as well as
 main subjects, declare that
this
 trend not only improves
students
' interpersonal skills but
also
 improves their career opportunities. senior
university
students
 who have literacy in distinct subjects could perform as multifunctional individuals,
thus
 being occupied will be easier for them. A case in point would be the recent survey conducted in Germany delineated that the unemployment rate was considerably lower in those who were familiar with various
courses
such
 as finance
in addition
 to their main ones. There is
also
 the flipside, where countless groups of folks argue that
this
 scenario prevents
university
 peers from ace in their primary field. Undoubtedly, to acquire
knowledge
 in areas except for the main
courses
, pupils should spend a staggering amount of time and focus,
hence
 it would be nearly impossible to gain in-depth
knowledge
 in the areas they study.
Nonetheless
, concentrating on receiving a qualification prepares
university
 pupils to become more experts in their field of study. In a well-known
university
,
for instance
, medical
students
 who allocate time and attention to management
courses
 failed several medical exams
due to
 a lack of
knowledge
.
To conclude
,
according to
 what has already been discussed,
although
 people may vary in their ideas, I vehemently hold that the above-mentioned trend would give a hand in upgrading their interpersonal skills
as well as
 career opportunities.
Submitted by maryam.niknamm on

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coherence cohesion
You have addressed the task and provided a clear position, but the development of your main points could be enhanced through deeper analysis and more varied sentence structures. Try to enrich your essay with a wider range of cohesive devices and more complex grammar constructions to improve the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Ensure the examples you provide are directly relevant and clear in demonstrating your argument. Expand on these examples to better support your points, and make sure that each paragraph contains a central idea that is well-explained and relevant to the question.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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