IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar charts shows information about salt intake in the us in 2000

the bar charts shows information about salt intake in the us in 2000
The chart provides information about salt consumption in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 from under 6
years
Use synonyms
 old to over 60 in the UK in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 from 6
years
Use synonyms
 old to 60, consumed a large amount of
sault
Correct your spelling
salt
show examples
, which was above the recommended at 2500
milligrams
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumption reduced gradually in both genders, male, whose rates declined more dramatically compared to
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
, remained the highest throughout the period. To start with, the sault intake in
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 under 6
years
Use synonyms
 old
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 just above 2000
milligrams
Use synonyms
, which was about 500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 lower than the recommended amount. The rate
then
Linking Words
 started to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 as
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 grew up, eventually
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 peak at nearly 4500
milligrams
Use synonyms
 in the 20-39
years
Use synonyms
 old category.
Although
Linking Words
 from the age of 40 onwards saw a
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 in the number of
sault
Correct your spelling
salt
show examples
 intake, the figure still remained 1000
milligrams
Use synonyms
 higher than the recommended.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, starting at about 1250
milligrams
Use synonyms
 when younger than six, the expenditure of salt in
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 rose to 3000
milligrams
Use synonyms
 in the 6-11
years
Use synonyms
 old category and remained almost unchanged over the next 6 decades. Surprisingly, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
salt intake in
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
whose
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were over 60 was as high as the recommended, at 2500
milligrams
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, milligrams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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