IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plans below show a museum in 1957, and the same museum in 2013

#plans #show #museum
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The given chart depicts essential changes at the same
museum
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 between 1957 and 2013. One striking
feauture
Correct your spelling
feature
 is that
,
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apply
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the area of
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
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 has been fixed up more effectively and has a bigger amount of rooms than in
initial
Correct article usage
the initial
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 period.
Firstly
Linking Words
,in 1957,in the north there was a huge garden,
Linking Words
however
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however,
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 in 2007,the garden size
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased sharply by many times.On one hand,
Correct article usage
the Muesum
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Muesum
Correct your spelling
Museum
 in 1957 had
additional
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an additional
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 way for coming to
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entrance
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the entrance
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 hall and there were a lot of trees near the main road.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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Museum
Correct article usage
the Museum
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 in 2007
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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changed
location
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the location
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 of
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entrance
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the entrance
an entrance
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 hall and constructed
new
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a new
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museum
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 shop for
entracing
Correct your spelling
entering
.
Also
Linking Words
,the way which was
using
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used
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 to
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entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
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 was knocked down,and trees
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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located near
road
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the road
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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choped
Correct your spelling
chopped
 down. Moving towards the rest of the information,the area of
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
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 has
extened
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extended
 by 3 times.
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Museum
Correct article usage
The museum
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 in 1957,had 3 parts
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as national history exhibition,
local
Correct article usage
a local
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 history room and
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museum
Correct article usage
a museum
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 storeroom.But in 2007,
Add an article
the new
a new
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new
Correct your spelling
now
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 part of
Use synonyms
museum-
Correct article usage
the museum-museum
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museum
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 shop was constructed and
using
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used
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 to
Use synonyms
entrance
Correct article usage
an entrance
show examples
.The
museum
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 storeroom converted into
cafe
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a cafe
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 and there were 3 new parts of
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museum
Add an article
the museum
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 erected
like
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apply
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as special exhibitons,
education
Correct article usage
an education
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cente
Correct your spelling
centre
 and
reception
Correct article usage
a reception
show examples
.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a clear introduction and conclusion to summarize the key changes. This will strengthen the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
The essay reflects an understanding of the main changes, but ensure to clearly distinguish between the two time periods for better clarity.
task achievement
Support your main observations with specific details from the diagrams to better achieve the task.
task achievement
The essay correctly identifies the primary changes that have occurred in the museum from 1957 to 2013.
task achievement
There is a general comparison of the two time periods, indicating an understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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