IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some country, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out the history of the house and building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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In the
last
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 decades, learning
history
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 become a more famous subject and has attracted several arguments and drawn the spotlight. Some people believe that teaching the public about the
history
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 of housing has many benefits,
while
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 others argue that learning the story has many drawbacks.
This
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 essay will examine some of the arguments for and against learning the
history
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 of housing . First of all, there is a social reason why researchers think educating students about the
history
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 of buildings has many benefits.
Although
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 the likely positive impacts raise their awareness must be taken into account, they still determine that teaching them in high school has, in many ways, massively enriched people’s lives.
For example
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, a well-known Saudi Arabian philosopher once said: "Learning the traditional culture about the oldest building helps people in a lot of life's fields”.
Thus
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, it clearly shows that learning about the
history
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 of houses is significant.
In contrast
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, there is a strong argument against learning the past of housing and how it was built. It can be challenging
due to
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 cultural reasons. Learning about how the oldest building can lead to misunderstandings and difficulties in adjusting to the new environment.
For instance
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, a recent article published by The Discover reveals that many public
have
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has
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 been negatively affected by the culture in Saudi Arabia. Indeed,
this
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 is a clear indication that individuals do not need to have how their house was built in their lives. In conclusion, there are strong arguments both for and against teaching bodies how their homes were built. The argument supporting the
history
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 of homes relates to social.
On the other hand
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, the argument against how their homes were built relates to culture.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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this
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 issue needs
further
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 research and discussion before a decision should be made.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be improved by more directly addressing the task. Consider briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay to provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure each paragraph clearly follows from the one before. Transition phrases between points and sections would help improve the flow.
Task Achievement
Try to strengthen your main points with more precise examples and explanations. This will help make your arguments more persuasive and comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion, which help to frame your essay well.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument, showing balance and consideration of different perspectives.
Task Achievement
The topic is addressed with relevant details, showcasing your effort to provide a thoughtful response.
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