The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts illustrate the changes in the types of devices used by people aged 18 to 25 to watch television in Canada during two different years, 2009 and 2019.

Overall

Linking Words

, mobile phones became the most popular device for watching television among 18 to 25-year-olds in Canada by 2019, replacing laptops, which held the top position in 2009.

While

Linking Words

the use of tablets and flat-screen

TVs

Use synonyms

increased significantly, desktop computers and conventional

TVs

Use synonyms

experienced a noticeable decline in popularity over the decade. ‏In terms of devices that saw an increase , mobile phones, tablets, and flat-screen

TVs

Use synonyms

experienced significant growth over the ten-year period. Mobile phone

usage

Use synonyms

accounted for 15% in 2009 and rose to 27% in 2019, making it the most notable increase.

Similarly

Linking Words

, tablet

usage

Use synonyms

climbed from 5% to 12%,

while

Linking Words

flat-screen

TVs

Use synonyms

grew from 8% to 27%. ‏

On the other hand

Linking Words

, conventional

TVs

Use synonyms

, laptops, and desktop computers experienced declines in

usage

Use synonyms

. Conventional TV

usage

Use synonyms

dropped from 34% in 2009 to a mere 4% in 2019.

Likewise

Linking Words

, laptops decreased slightly, falling from 20% to 12%,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

desktop computers saw a decline from 18% to 10%.

Submitted by s_syedy on Sun Dec 22 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tvs, usage with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
percentage
proportion
comparison
device
traditional TV
laptop
mobile phone
tablet
streaming services
usage
trend
shift
technological advancements
viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Governments are prohibiting underage children from getting full time jobs in certain countries. Do you agree or disagree?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree

In today's general with the smart phone can capture and share photographs. This assessability to photograph the value of professional photographer of agreed disagree.

The number of people who are at the risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What are the reasons for growth in the overweight people in the society. How can this problem be solved.

in their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some ways. why is this ? do you think it is a positive or negative development?