IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #governments #access #people’s #phone #records #messages #safety #information #permission
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It is believed by some that the general public's mobile call records and messages should be monitored by the government for safety purposes;
however
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, others think that
this
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 step might be harmful to them as those are confidential and should not be accessed without legal permission. In my opinion, when authorities need to enquire about any personal material by searching the phone, it is better to have consent from the accused bodies. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides and give my arguments to clear my stance.
To begin
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 with, identifying the real culprit of any bad incidents certainly has some challenges, and the administration may check the public's phones to understand the real scenario. Even though they might not have any particular consent, by checking calls and messages they can get all types of data regarding the incidents.
This
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 means they have
also
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 got access to all the contacts of those people.
Hence
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, it may relate to safety issues but it may
also
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 break other private barriers.
On the other hand
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, personal info has some sentimental value.
While
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 anyone can understand that his valuable emotional calls or texts might be aired,
this
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 would create more damage to their lives.
For instance
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, if an accused person has children, and police may expose their images without any legal consent,
this
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 will damage him psychologically.
Therefore
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,before searching for mobiles,
administrative
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the administrative
an administrative
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 community can know them, because of showing respect
to
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for
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 other's emotions. In conclusion, public safety is one of the major concerns for any government, so they may have a need to observe certain folk or organisations.
However
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, I believe, they can do their investigation works without exposing the general public's private information as they carry valuable emotions.
Submitted by bipashaa on

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Relevant Specific Examples
Always try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Complete Response
Make sure to clearly elaborate on each of your points to fully achieve the task response.
Logical Structure
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
Introduction Conclusion Present
Your introduction clearly presents the issue and your stance, setting up the discussion well.
Logical Structure
Good use of transitional phrases to guide the reader through different viewpoints.
Complete Response
The essay addresses both perspectives of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
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