Q: Many people are now opting to provide technology companies with their personal data in exchange for access to software. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, the common trend is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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prefer to let
the
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apply
show examples
technological firms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access to their information exchange
they
Rephrase
when they
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use their software.
While
Linking Words
using new
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
with
data
Use synonyms
sharing
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a lot of benefits, I still believe that cannot overshadow the drawbacks. On the one hand, the merits of sharing personal
data
Use synonyms
by the
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
are so varied. On
teh
Correct your spelling
the
one side,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
accessibility
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
a chance for companies to know about
thefaveriouts
Correct article usage
the thefaveriouts
show examples
of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
and develop their products
on
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in
show examples
the ways that
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
and aid them to improve the quality of their life. On the other side, when they have the public's personality factors, the
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
suggesst
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suggest
suggests
the best items that they to the
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
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,
whne
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when
you
searching
Wrong verb form
search
show examples
a lot about one subject like dress
in
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on
show examples
Pinterest,
then
Linking Words
your
Replace the word
you're
you are
show examples
explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
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apply
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Pinterest become full of
the
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apply
show examples
different models of the dress. ' On
th
Correct your spelling
the
other hand, accessibility to
people
Use synonyms
's
data
Use synonyms
has several demerits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the population do not have private
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
owing to
teh
Correct your spelling
the
fact that their electronic gadgets are like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spy tools which record the all
data
Use synonyms
about
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
show examples
lives and
people
Use synonyms
have a lot of privacy
concers
Correct your spelling
concerns
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the powerful
comapnies
Correct your spelling
companies
obtain some market for themselves and the competition will
be reduce
Change the verb form
be reduced
show examples
;
as a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
do not have a number of choices for using various
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, sharing information
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a majority of benefits for communities to find the elements that they like in the application and have the new things that create a cosy situation. In
contrats
Correct your spelling
contrast
, the good
pints
Correct your spelling
points
show examples
cannot eclipse the bad points on account of the fact that
people
Use synonyms
's
privecy
Correct your spelling
privacy
and
commpetion
Correct your spelling
competition
among the businesses are more important.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on clearly structuring your main points and ensuring they are directly supported with explanations or examples. This will strengthen your essay's logical flow.
task achievement
Avoid repetition and overly generic statements. Try to elaborate on each point carefully. For example, explaining both advantages and disadvantages with clear examples will make your argument stronger.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly presents the main idea of the essay and your stance, which is well-articulated.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples, such as the Pinterest example, helps illustrate your points effectively and makes the arguments more relatable.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • opt to
  • enhanced user experience
  • personalized recommendations
  • user satisfaction
  • streaming services
  • innovate and develop
  • technological advancements
  • artificial intelligence
  • automation systems
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • identity theft
  • financial loss
  • monopolistic behaviors
  • reduced competition
  • data and personalized settings
  • vast amounts of data
  • potential invasion of privacy
  • loss of trust
  • increased dependency
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