Nowadays people are not fit and active as before. These will have negative effect in the future health. What are the reasons and solutions to this issue?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The future of fitness is facing a huge risk with the number of people that are practising a healthy lifestyle getting much lower compared to the past.
This
Linking Words
reduction can be correlated to the increased use of technology, eating lots of fast foods and staying at home for longer
times
Use synonyms
than ever recorded. Practising a healthy routine generally consists of doing any kind of physical activity for long cycles and eating healthy sustenance. With the rise of fast food, people are now dependent on high-calorie, quickly prepared meals
instead
Linking Words
of healthy foods with a low-caloric intake that were cooked and made with vitamin and fibre-packed ingredients.
Also
Linking Words
, the quick surge in popularity of delivery applications has made ordering processed meals much easier, cheaper and accessible to all people, which created an unhealthy addiction to
such
Linking Words
foods. Being physically active is now becoming much rarer than before, with new technology and tools being created every day to help with hard tasks. The normal individual became more dependent on these tools rather than natural strength. Cars, buses, and aeroplanes have made walking for long
times
Use synonyms
much easier and less tasking on the body, which is great for trips that would take days to cross, but unnecessary for short trips to the convenience store that don't take longer than 5 minutes. The human brain has a habit of being lazy, creating ways to make hard and difficult jobs much easier to do, increasing the amount of time laying or sitting around is a result of that habit. Sitting for long
times
Use synonyms
is proven to be linked to heart disease, diabetes and more health problems, which shortens the normal life span of a human. Following a workout schedule and eating consciously is one of the easiest and most straightforward ways to improve health in general. Working out 2 to 3
times
Use synonyms
a week for only 30 minutes, eating less added sugars, increasing fibre intake and sitting down for only 30 minutes per 2 hours can show an improvement in physical and mental health in general.
Submitted by miralaltalhi11707 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to support your points about the impact of technology and fast food on people's health. This will help to make your argument more convincing and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a brief conclusion that summarizes your main points and reiterates the importance of addressing this issue. This will provide a strong ending to your essay and further enhance the structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction that outlines the main reasons people are less fit today.
task achievement
The problems identified are relevant and common issues associated with modern lifestyle habits.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows well, with logical progression from one point to the next, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: