IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that living in high-rise apartments feels very lonely, and makes people unhappy. Others say there are advantages to lining in an independent house. Discuss both views and ggive your opinions.

#people #apartments #house #ggive
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It
is widely believe
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is widely believed
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 by some
population
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populations
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 that residing in flats can be lonely and depressing,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 advocate the importance of living alone.
While
Linking Words
 habiting alone can be scary at
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 and often feel dull, it
also
Linking Words
enable
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enables
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individual
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individuals
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 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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quiet and quality
time
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 alone. In my opinion, it is more
advantageos
Correct your spelling
advantageous
 to live alone. On the one hand, residing in
flat
Correct article usage
a flat
show examples
 can be attributed to boredom and sadness as there is no one around to easily communicate with about daily activities, and in emergency situations,
such
Linking Words
 as the covid 19 pandemic lockdown, cohabiting can be very beneficial. In order to cope with pressing situations, games can be played to ease mental stress and reduce
time
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focus
Wrong verb form
focused
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 on situations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, staying individually
provide
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provides
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 privacy, and can enable humans to focus on their mental health, have calm and quality
time
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 without distractions from flatmate
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, and can
also
Linking Words
 increase productivity. For
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
, online jobs can be easily
acheived
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achieved
 without the guilt of disturbing the neighbourhood.
i
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I
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 believe living alone has
more
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apply
show examples
brighter sides and does not equal
to
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apply
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unhapiness
Correct your spelling
unhappiness
, as
Add an article
an individual
the individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 can be able to move freely and access every area in the flat without limitation and disrupting the peace of
others
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there
is
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are
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 no rules set
and
Correct word choice
that
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 encompass better security. In conclusion, living alone can be
unpleasent
Correct your spelling
unpleasant
 to some people and it causes uncontented happiness,
while
Linking Words
others
Use synonyms
 think it is more comfortable to live alone, as their movement would not be restricted
Use synonyms
others
Change preposition
to others
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. I strongly believe in privacy and
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
 for peaceful alone being.
Submitted by lizzieyohana on

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your ideas are clearly and comprehensively developed throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structuring of your essay to make the arguments flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, maintaining a sense of closure and completeness.
task achievement
Good attempt at covering both sides of the argument, demonstrating understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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