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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information on the ages of the populatiosn of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populatiosn of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #ages #populatiosn #yemen #projections #features #comparisons
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The charts illustrate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about the ages of the people of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and predictions for 2050 
Overall
Linking Words
, in Yemen, it could be seen that people from the
age
Use synonyms
 15-59 more than half of the pie chart, and
60+
Correct article usage
the 60+
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 old bracket had an upward trend
while
Linking Words
 children from
age
Use synonyms
 0-14 had a decrease in
population
Use synonyms
 in 2050. In Italy, the 60+
years
Use synonyms
 old bracket had a jump in growth
whereas
Linking Words
 the 0-14 and 15-59
years
Use synonyms
 old had a downward trend in 2050. For Yemen, the
age
Use synonyms
 bracket from 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 old accounted for half of the pie chart, 15-59 and 60+
years
Use synonyms
 old were at 46.3 and 3.6
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 in 2000, respectively. In 2050, the 15-59 and
60
Correct your spelling
60-year-olds
years
Use synonyms
 old are predicted to have a jump in growth, projected to be 57.3% and 5.7%, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the children from
age
Use synonyms
 0-14 are anticipated to face a slump, dropping by 13%, going from 50.1% to 37%. For Italy, the
age
Use synonyms
 group from 15-59
years
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 old had the lion’s share at 61.6%, the 60+
years
Use synonyms
 old had 24.1%, and the
14
Correct your spelling
14-year-old
years
Use synonyms
 old stood at 14.3% of their
population
Use synonyms
. In 2050, It is envisaged that the 60+
years
Use synonyms
 old
is having
Wrong verb form
will have
show examples
 an increase in their
population
Use synonyms
 whilst the 15-59 and 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 old are predicted to have a drop in inhabitants. The 60+
years
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 old is going to be increased by almost 20%, jumping from 24.1% to 42.3% in 50
years
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the 0-14
years
Use synonyms
 old is predicted to have a decline in
population
Use synonyms
, dropping by roughly 20%, to 46.2%. Meanwhile, the 60+
years
Use synonyms
 old only to have decreased slightly by 2.8%, dropping down to 11.5%
Submitted by nphminh0207 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "jump" was used 2 times.
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