It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Savings
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is an essential habit that all
people
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must practice and emphasize as vital to securing financial security. Many believe
its
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in its
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importance,
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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think that focusing and gaining experiences are equally important. I firmly believe that
savings
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should be seriously considered by all, particularly for the young ones. On the one hand, I agree that
savings
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are vital for financial stability. Developing a habit of
savings
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at an early stage of life allows individuals to become more responsible for their income and set an allocation as to where their finances go.
For instance
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, in case of emergencies
such
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as job loss, health issues, or unexpected expenses, budget allocation for the future can help pay for everything without resorting to a loan from anyone.
This
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financial discipline can
also
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foster
people
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to plan for significant life milestones,
such
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as retirement, buying properties, and
further
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education.
In addition
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,
this
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provides
opportunities
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for investment like stocks, bonds, or other entrepreneurial ventures, which can enhance their financial standing in the future.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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can be so fixated on accumulating
money
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that they are afraid to spend
money
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on something necessary. To give an example, investing in experiences
such
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as travel, hobbies, and learning new skills can be quite beneficial to personal growth and mental well-being, which are
also
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equally important as financial security. Young
people
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have more
opportunities
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to invest and generate income as compared to older generations, who are often less knowledgeable about it. They often teach young
people
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to save more and
instill
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instil
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fear
on
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of
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losing
money
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, which can lead to missing out
higher
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on higher
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growth
opportunities
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.
To sum up
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, I agree that
people
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should save
money
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for unseen circumstances.
However
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, there should be some kind of balance, so that there is
savings
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but
also
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no missed
opportunities
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and fear.
Submitted by roycelparaiso on

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task achievement
While your essay addresses the topic well, ensure you fully expand on the contrasting viewpoint in the body to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider providing clearer transitions between your ideas, especially when you shift from discussing savings to discussing experiences.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You effectively articulate the importance of saving for financial stability through specific examples like emergency funds and investments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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