The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

#shops #country

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line graph gives information about how many closed and newly

open

Wrong verb form

opened

show examples

shops

Use synonyms

in a country over the period span of seven

years

Use synonyms

(2011-2018).

Overall

Linking Words

, it can

be observe

Change the verb form

be observed

show examples

that there was a fluctuation in the number of closures and opening of

shops

Use synonyms

in a certain nation.

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning, there were more

shops

Use synonyms

open than

Correct word choice

closed

show examples

;

however

Linking Words

, it increased in the

last

Linking Words

period. In 2011,

this

Linking Words

country opened more

shops

Use synonyms

at around 8500, and dramatically fell to 4000,

this

Linking Words

was half of the starting figure.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it managed to climb at approximately

Change preposition

apply

show examples

6100 in 2014 and modestly dropped in the following

years

Use synonyms

, ending at only 3000 in 2018. Looking more at the graph, less than 7000

shops

Use synonyms

were closed in 2011, and significantly increased in three consecutive

years

Use synonyms

before it dramatically

decline

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

to less than 1000 in 2015.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend managed to climb considerably in three

years

Use synonyms

with less than 6000

closure

Fix the agreement mistake

closures

show examples

Submitted by roycelparaiso on Mon Dec 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "climb" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

155 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

trend
fluctuation
peak
decline
surge
stabilize
correlation
economic conditions
consumer behavior
technological advancements
urban development
employment
retail sector

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued by some that by building more sports facilities, improvement in overall public health can be achieved. Others suggest to look for alternate approaches as more facilities would not have a significant impact. While building more activity centres would help people stay fit, I believe that constructing more modern public healthcare units will benefit individuals in this regard.
5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
It is widely believed that many communities are ageing recently which indeed concerns the governments. However, elderly people are beloved, they may need special cares that cost a lot of money. Also, an old population will certainly struggle with many challanges including a decline in econemy and work force.
4
band
Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The increase of stressed people from job currently is strongly growing up, it causes a serious problem for everybody who working. For that reason, there's an idea about two crucial factors involving job: how people prefer their job and main purpose for work is about regular income. Which one is more necessary to improve a better work life? This idea give me both views, so i am going to explain my opinion in this essay.
5.5
band
Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Given the pivotal role of passion in occupation, the question of whether people should opt for unemployment rather than working but not interested . One common perspective of many people, myself included advocates the opinion that it is more necessary for individuals to be unemployed than to be employed but not enjoy.
6
band
TASK 2 Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the modern era, the phenomenon of consumerism is becoming increasingly more popular among the young generation, they tend to spend the majority of their free time doing joy shopping and it has caused some concerns relating to the drawbacks on youngsters and their communities. This writer agrees with this belief because of the individuals' financial burden and the low-quality workforce.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that liking your job is more important than how much money you earn while others think that your salary is more important than how much you like your job. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that big companies should provide sports and social facilities for the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

TASK 2 Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls. Some people fear that this may have negative effects on young people and the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?