IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many peolpe say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others clain that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the worl of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

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Most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 think that with the completion of higher education levels
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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one
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, it is possible to grab a higher quality job
while
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 few
believes
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believe
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 that working before going to college will help the students to grab
work
Use synonyms
experience
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.
However
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, I agree with the latter opinion because
one
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 can collect the
experience
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 of
work
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 and can
also
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 develop intellectual
skills
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. It is a great
experience
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while
Linking Words
 doing
work
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 after
school
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 and helps the teenagers to enhance their knowledge about the
work
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
experience
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 collected
on
Change preposition
from
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 previous
work
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 will open the gates for better
work
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opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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of
Change preposition
in
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higher class
Add a hyphen
higher-class
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 jobs. With the help of that they can earn money for their higher level of education.
For instance
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, the survey done by Vietnam unveiled that students who start working after
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
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 will eventually have more knowledge and
experience
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 of the
work
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they have the ability to do
one
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 task in many different ways.
Additionally
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, intellectual
skills
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 will be enhanced by doing
work
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 after
school
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. To explain
this
Linking Words
, by meeting
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of people
on
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in
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 their
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work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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 and by gaining insights into different perspectives, there is an improvement in their intellectual
skills
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.
For example
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, In
one
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 of the famous
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
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 the Hindustan
times
Capitalize word
Times
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, there was an article which revealed that a person who
interact
Correct subject-verb agreement
interacts
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 most with the outer world,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 gained more understanding about
Correct article usage
the psycgology
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psycgology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 of the people and
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
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 their interpersonal
skills
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. In conclusion,
however
Linking Words
 completing
university
Correct article usage
a university
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 level education is
also
Linking Words
 a better way to attain a job, but, collecting
experience
Use synonyms
 by doing
work
Use synonyms
 after
school
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 will help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers to grab
experience
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, earn money for their future
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and to make
their
Change preposition
up their
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 about the outer world.

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task achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly introduces both sides of the argument to provide a balanced understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Work on developing your main points more comprehensively. Discuss both the advantages and possible disadvantages of both pathways to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Attempt to use more specific and varied examples to support your arguments, which will make your essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs are logically linked to enhance flow from one idea to another; this could be improved by using more linking words.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is essential for good structure.
task achievement
You have addressed the question and given a clear position on the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples, such as the survey done by Vietnam and the article mentioned in Hindustan Times, adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • indispensability
  • specialist knowledge
  • credentials
  • practical skills
  • networking opportunities
  • burden of student loans
  • immediate earning potential
  • digital economy
  • self-taught skills
  • lifelong learning
  • continuing professional development
  • academic qualifications
What to do next:
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