IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Cutting-edge technologies are becoming part of
people
Use synonyms
's lives
due to
Linking Words
 several factors.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
PC,
Correct your spelling
PCs
 and the internet are one of those.
As a result
Linking Words
, numerous individuals start working online
instead
Linking Words
 of going to their
work
Use synonyms
 in person. In my opinion, working from home is fundamental as it saves
amount
Correct article usage
a amount
show examples
Use synonyms
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
,
however
Linking Words
, it can lead to health issues if
people
Use synonyms
 tend to move less. The advancement of technologies might be beneficial for those who
work
Use synonyms
 remotely, especially
people
Use synonyms
 from villages who must go to
work
Use synonyms
 by private taxies or by public transport Since most organizations are located in urban areas, It can be a tiring experience because they should wake up earlier
otherwise
Linking Words
 they would be late. In
this
Linking Words
 case, working online without going anywhere is the perfect solution and can save the energy they spend.
In addition
Linking Words
, working from is not only exceptional for villagers but
also
Linking Words
 for citizens as well. Traffic jams
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 one of the problematic issues in big cities,
hence
Linking Words
 several commuters are late
due to
Linking Words
 gridlock in the street, in
this
Linking Words
 scenario working from one laptop and a cup of coffee can motivate
people
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 harder and better as it is much more productive than spending hours in the noise places.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 who spend their
time
Use synonyms
 in front of their Personal computers can suffer from some health problems
such
Linking Words
 as obesity.
For example
Linking Words
, many job holders like freelancers, and IT managers have sedentary lifestyles as they invest most of their
time
Use synonyms
 on the Internet and other programs,
consequently
Linking Words
, many of them suffer from being obese
due to
Linking Words
 lack of movement. Not only that, less social interaction with the community is another problem they might witness, which can lead to isolation in their timeline other words the less they talk to
people
Use synonyms
 the worse their communication skills
work
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite working from home is essential for commuters, it can lead to some health problems. In my opinion, working online is tremendous since it can save
time
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, being connected with
people
Use synonyms
 could be practical
life-skills
Correct your spelling
life skills
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining a clear and logical progression of ideas.
supported main points
Enhance the support for main points with more specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments and make your points more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Add further clarity and depth to your ideas to make them more comprehensive. Ensure each idea is well explained and developed.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.
complete response
Your essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which shows a balanced response.
logical structure
The essay follows a consistent structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect or point of view.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • savings
  • time
  • money
  • commuting
  • balance
  • isolation
  • social
  • distraction
  • environment
  • concentrate
  • job
  • role
  • presence
What to do next:
Look at other essays: