Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, people believe that it is important that the institutions invest the same money in both the library and
sports
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activities. I subscribe to
this
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perspective owing to the
fact
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that
this
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library is the best place to research ;
however
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,
sports
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can upgrade the level of health and social skills. On the one hand, when students have
sports
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facilities in their universities, they are encouraged to play
sports
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. In
fact
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,
this
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phenomenon prevents them from sedentary lifestyles and creates a chance for them to follow a healthy lifestyle on account of the
fact
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that playing various
sports
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like badminton, basketball, and so on aids people to be in shape.
In addition
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, they have a positive effect on mental health by reducing the sense of stress.
On the other hand
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, the
fact
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that is
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really crucial is that most
sports
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namely, volleyball, handball, and so forth require a band;
consequently
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, the students who are team members, especially the leader learn how they have to behave in the group, communication, and leadership.
In other words
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, teamwork is a good experience for them to improve their social skills and become a successful team member in the future at their work.
To sum up
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, In my opinion, a library is needed to improve people's knowledge;
although
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, if institutions spend money on
sports
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sections;
then
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they export good students. In
fact
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, these populations do not have health issues, yet they have good social skills in leading communities and behaving with other members of the team.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed. Add more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
Task Achievement
Work on developing your ideas more deeply. Explain the 'why' and 'how' aspects to provide depth in your explanations.
Task Achievement
Remember to maintain a focused task response by covering all parts of the question in detail: both libraries and sports.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that clearly state your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view integrating different perspectives on the need for sports and libraries in universities.
Task Achievement
You highlighted the benefits of sports on mental health and social skills effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate
  • intellectual growth
  • physical growth
  • enhance cognitive function
  • mental health
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • leadership skills
  • personal pursuits
  • academic performance
  • passion
  • talents
  • equitable funding
  • space and accessibility
  • institution's reputation
  • competitive sports teams
  • diverse interests
  • well-being
  • holistic development
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