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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the number of hours that students study each day at five different universities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar charts illustrate how many
hours
Use synonyms
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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university 
students
Use synonyms
 study
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
weekdays
Use synonyms
 and
weekends
Use synonyms
 across five nations.
Overall
Linking Words
, a large proportion of pupils prefer to study during
weekdays
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 less time
devoted
Add a missing verb
is devoted
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on
Change preposition
to
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weekends
Use synonyms
.
Students
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 C have more
hours
Use synonyms
 to study on
weekdays
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 D has the lowest number of
hours
Use synonyms
 during
weekends
Use synonyms
 and
weekdays
Use synonyms
. In detail, pupils from
country
Use synonyms
 C
records
Correct subject-verb agreement
record
show examples
 the highest number of
hours
Use synonyms
 studying on
weekdays
Use synonyms
 with 10.6
hours
Use synonyms
 , followed by countries B & C with approximately 10
hours
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 from
country
Use synonyms
 A & D
records
Correct subject-verb agreement
record
show examples
 at about 9
hours
Use synonyms
 per day. During
weekends
Use synonyms
, it can be observed that most of the
students
Use synonyms
 spend less time studying.
Country
Use synonyms
 A 's
students
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 spend 9
hours
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, followed by
country
Use synonyms
 B with 8.8
hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
 ,
country
Use synonyms
 D records only 5.6
hours
Use synonyms
 of studying
while
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
 E has only 6.2
hours
Use synonyms
 on
weekends
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, students, weekdays, weekends, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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