Some people say that it is possible for a country to be both economically successful and have a clean environment. Others disagree.
It is
dabeted
that a country can balance economic success with environmental sustainability. Some argue that Correct your spelling
debated
dated
economical
Replace the word
economic
growth
and Use synonyms
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
environment
can coexist through Use synonyms
modern
that the pursuit of profit inevitably leads to environmental degradation.
Replace the word
modernity and
Economical
rise and a clean Replace the word
Economic
nature
can happen at the same time. When we use more modern Use synonyms
method
of police. Fix the agreement mistake
methods
For
Linking Words
example
in many developed countries Add a comma
example,
such
as Korea and Linking Words
Japan
they utilise more developed devices Add a comma
Japan,
such
as green technology Linking Words
for
achieve a healthy Change preposition
to
nature
. Use synonyms
This
shows us we can Linking Words
also
attain Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
growth
without damaging Use synonyms
nature
.
Use synonyms
Economical
success often causes harm to the Replace the word
Economic
environment
. Use synonyms
Linking Words
While some
factories and industries Correct word choice
Some
are pollute
more water and air, soil and they trying to make more money Change the verb form
are polluting
Fix the infinitive
to expand
expand
their budget. Wrong verb form
by expanding
For
Linking Words
instance
in India and Add a comma
instance,
Dubai
there Add a comma
Dubai,
have
deforestation and dirty air Verb problem
is
due to
rapid Linking Words
growth
. People who live in Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
kinds of areas Correct determiner usage
these
they
do not believe that it is hard to balance Correct pronoun usage
apply
Use synonyms
growth
of countries' money and Add an article
the growth
prevent
natural places. Verb problem
protect
Furthermore
, businesses focus more on Linking Words
getting
Verb problem
making
profit
than protecting the Correct article usage
a profit
environment
.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, it is possible to prevent Linking Words
nature
with Use synonyms
rise
of Add an article
the rise
economy
Add an article
the economy
while
economic Linking Words
growth
can damage the Use synonyms
environment
. In my Use synonyms
opinion
if countries plan carefully and use modern technology. Balancing these two factors is important for the future.Add a comma
opinion,
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and ideas to make the essay more seamless. Use more connecting words and phrases to ensure clarity.
Task Achievement
Ensure that your main arguments are comprehensively supported by more specific examples or statistics. This would strengthen your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph expresses one clear main idea, with supporting sentences that contribute coherently to that idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
Your use of real-world examples like those of Korea and Japan add credibility to your argument and show a good effort in task performance.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?