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Writing Samples
Band 7

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #attack #poverty #lack #opportunities #it’s #police #street #people #prison
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To reduce the amount of crimes being committed on a daily basis, law enforcement should find the root of the problem and solve it. Raising the number of policemen and cops will not make a huge difference in curbing criminal activities and only raises the number of criminals under arrest, I completely agree with that statement and I'll discuss in
this
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 essay the reasons why I do. Criminal minds and actions can stem from many developmental issues. Family problems and domestic abuse can cause children to have violent and aggressive thoughts. Children and teenagers who grow up in third-world countries that have less access to education and moral guidance can develop morality issues, teaching students the basics of what's right and wrong can make a difference in reducing criminal activities.
For example
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, a person who acquired a college-level education has less chance of being a criminal or doing illegal actions, unlike people who live in areas where learning levels above high school are much rarer, which can be correlated to high criminal activities. Yes, increasing the number of employees who work in the force can reduce crime rates. But, it doesn't solve the original problem. It causes violent reactions that can end up with a police shooting incident or an innocent passerby getting unnecessarily injured. folk need guidance and knowledge of the
rules
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 for them to follow said
rules
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. Raising ignorant people and expecting them to follow and stick to
rules
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 is simply ridiculous and counterproductive. I think that it's a wonderful thought that crime can be stopped without a police force. Having better access to education and making crowds more aware of
rules
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 and guidelines can create a much safer environment for a community to grow and prevail in.
Submitted by miralaltalhi11707 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph clearly links to the main topic and transition words or phrases are used to improve the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. This can help illustrate your points more clearly.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the reasons provided are well-explained and supported with detailed arguments or evidence.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and maintains it throughout the discussion, which strongly supports task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas from one paragraph to the next, noticeably enhancing the text's cohesion and coherence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate the central argument, providing a clear entry point and a summarizing restatement of ideas at the end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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