IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

General Task 1 You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part-time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: •Explain why you want to reduce your working hours, •Say which hours you would like to work, •Describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………….. , You get 20 minutes to complete this task.

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Dear Mr. Smith, I hope
this
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 message finds you well. I am writing to express my interest in a post-graduate university major that would significantly enhance my skills and contribute positively to our team. The major is Advanced Project Management and it will take almost one year beginning in the first week of February 2025. The lectures would be presented on Mondays and Wednesdays from 07:30 to 11:30 a.m. and focused on strategic planning, risk assessment, and resource allocation, all of which are vital for our ongoing projects. Most importantly, to facilitate my participation, I would kindly request the company to consider for me 8 out of 40 hours per week off so that I can proceed with the course most effectively. Presumably, I can compensate for the above-mentioned off hours on Saturdays in the office or Sundays at home to handle my routine tasks. The good point is, that the classes are live online and I would not have to commute trips wasting my time. It is definitely clear that
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 course will enrich my expertise and improve our team's efficiency and output.
Accordingly
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, by applying the advanced methodologies learned, I could lead projects more effectively, ensuring we meet deadlines and exceed client expectations. Thank you for considering my proposal. I look forward to discussing
this
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further
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. Yours sincerely, Majid Ebadi

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to give clear transitions between ideas to further enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
While the current letter is highly coherent, it's always a good practice to close each paragraph by linking back to the main purpose or transitioning smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Ensure you explicitly mention how the company will benefit, which you have done well but could be even more explicitly linked to potential improvements.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is professional and appropriate for a formal request to a boss.
coherence cohesion
The letter maintains a logical structure with a clear flow of information, from the introduction to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a distinct idea, enhancing clarity and understanding.
coherence cohesion
The closing of the letter is polite and invites further discussion, showing respect and consideration.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pursue further education
  • Enhance my qualifications
  • Current commitments
  • Propose a flexible schedule
  • Core working requirements
  • Availability
  • Direct benefits
  • Acquiring new skills
  • Efficiency improvements
  • Innovative solutions
  • Strategic insights
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