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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that most crime is a result of circumstances, e.g. poverty and other social problems. Others, however, believe most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #crime #circumstances #e #g #poverty #nature
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There is no denying the fact that there are many reasons why people are doing
crimes
Use synonyms
.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that the purpose of most
crimes
Use synonyms
 is poverty, circumstances, and other social problems, there is
also
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 an argument it
is happen
Wrong verb form
happens
show examples
by
Change preposition
to
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individuals
Use synonyms
 who are bad by nature.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, when a person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many social problems that
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to
change
Correct article usage
a change
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his
Change preposition
in his
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 personality to be worse.
In other words
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, sometimes people are forced to
do
Verb problem
commit
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 a crime for the reason of
hungry
Add a missing verb
being hungry
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 or
they
Correct word choice
because they
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 have children to feed.
In addition
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, most
of
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apply
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crimes
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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always happen in poor areas which
had
Wrong verb form
has
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 been approved by many researchers.
For instance
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, recent research by the University of Prince Sultan has shown that 62% of
crimes
Use synonyms
 that happen in Riyadh city are
lacated
Correct your spelling
located
 in only one area.
On the other hand
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, some people believe that crime is often committed by
individuals
Use synonyms
 who are inherently immoral or driven by greed. These
individuals
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 may not be influenced by poverty or hardship but
instead
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 commit
crimes
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due to
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 psychological tendencies or a lack of moral values.
For example
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, cases of corporate fraud or insider trading highlight how even
individuals
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 in privileged positions engage in illegal activities for personal gain.
This
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 perspective argues that
such
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crimes
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 are not driven by necessity but by greed and a disregard for societal rules. In conclusion, there is no easy answer
for
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to
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this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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crimes
Use synonyms
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
by
Change preposition
due to
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 external effects
such
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 as poverty and other social problems like unemployment
Submitted by abdallah550603 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and ensure they are directly relevant to your points.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences have minor grammatical errors. Revising for subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency can enhance clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, maintaining good logical flow and structure.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both perspectives, demonstrating a comprehensive understanding of the task.
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