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Writing Samples
Band 5

The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world’s cities today. Discuss the causes. What solutions could be used to tackle the situation?

#migration #people #cities #world’s #situation
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Nowadays, moving to cities for
living
Add an article
a living
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 has become
Correct article usage
a globally
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globally
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global
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 problem,
However
Linking Words
, the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 issue are environmental problems and Increased pressure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
services
Use synonyms
, and
most
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the most
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 suitable solutions are improving the infrastructure in rural areas and investing in education. The main cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem is environmental problems. in
other word
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another word
other words
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,
increasing
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an increasing
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in
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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population in countries leads to
increase
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an increase
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the
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in the
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 amount of pollution whether it comes from air, water or waste. Another reason is that the public
services
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.
This
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 means the high demand
on
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for
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services
Use synonyms
 in health, education and public facilities , which often leads to reducing the quality of
services
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 provided.
For instance
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, in some cities, hospitals
are not have
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do not have
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 ready capacity and medical equipment to treat more numbers of patients. A viable solution to address
this
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 issue is to invest in the educational sector.
This
Linking Words
 can help by
provide
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providing
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 job opportunities and
enhance
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enhancing
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 the learning process by
introduce
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introducing
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 advanced technology tools for
develop
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developing
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 learning and training people variety
skills
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of skills
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 to encourage people to
living
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live
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 there, which can reduce excessive migration. Another effective solution to deal with
this
Linking Words
 is to improve the countryside's infrastructure.
For example
Linking Words
, build new hospitals with qualified doctors and
staffs
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staff
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 with providing advanced medical devices.
Moreover
Linking Words
, establish public facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
park
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parks
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,
entertainment
Correct word choice
and entertainment
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canter
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centres
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. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 the migrations to urban areas significant issue caused by environmental issues and rising pressure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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public
services
Use synonyms
 , implementing improvement on the infrastructure and the investment in education can effectively address these problems and create
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
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 future.
Submitted by Hanan on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could add data about urban migration rates or specific cities facing these challenges.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph smoothly flows into the next, possibly by using more linking words or phrases.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on urban migration.
supported main points
The main causes and solutions are clearly stated, showing a good grasp of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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