Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#students #school #money #life #skill #argument

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In today's era of modernisation,capital is very crucial.Everything is related to

money

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and

hence

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,recently, some people thought that pupils studying in secondary school and high school should be given knowledge of

money

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management

Use synonyms

as it is a significant

life

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skill.I wholeheartedly agree with the above-stated opinion .The following paragraphs will

further

Linking Words

elucidate my viewpoint . There are numerous reasons for teaching cash flow

management

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to younger ones.

Firstly

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,capital is very vital to live

life

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happily .Even the basic necessities

such

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as food ,clothing and shelter come from

money

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For instance

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,as per a recent survey in India ,28% of the population is struggling to have the basic amenities required to live

life

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Secondly

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,a feeling of confidence and freedom is developed when

children

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have cash in hand.The

children

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will be able to make small decisions on their own and know how to use

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

properly.Eventually,it will

also

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help them to become independent .

For example

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,in the United Kingdom,younger ones are encouraged to do part part-time jobs and earn wages to teach them capital

management

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Finally

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,I too think that

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apply

show examples

teenage is the perfect age to inculcate good values in youths.It is the age where

children

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interact and discuss with parents more than that of friends .

Thus

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,it will become easier for parents to teach students capital

management

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Consequently

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,we are preparing our younger ones for their future so that they can excel in their

life

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journey with good marks.

To conclude

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,there are numerous reasons like happiness,a feeling of confidence and freedom and the perfect age to teach good morals which support the fact that

children

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studying in high school or secondary education should be taught

money

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management

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skills.I firmly, agree with

this

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and

also

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believe that by doing it we are helping the future generation to live a good

life

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full of happiness and satisfaction.

Submitted by pskhandelwal13 on Mon Dec 23 2024

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Content Enhancement

Consider exploring more varied perspectives on the topic, such as potential challenges teachers might face when integrating financial management into the curriculum.

Structural Improvement

Work on refining transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow throughout the essay.

Introduction & Conclusion

The essay provides a clear introduction and a strong conclusion, summarizing the key points effectively.

Evidence & Thoughtfulness

The main points are well-supported with examples, such as the Indian survey and the UK example, effectively illustrating the argument.

Task Achievement

The response comprehensively addresses the task, offering a compelling argument in favor of teaching money management to teenagers.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings culture
spending wisely
financial stability
responsibility
discipline
financial goals
long-term financial health
digital transactions
online banking
interest rates
investments
credit scores
debt management
academic pressures
curriculum balance
informed financial decisions

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