IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Most people think adverisements are annoying or amusing but not influenced by them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, advertising has become a widespread strategy  for various businesses,
targetting
Correct your spelling
targeting
 the general public to enhance their consumerism.
While
Linking Words
 many people claim that these
ads
Use synonyms
 are merely irritating or entertaining, they often overlook the influence of the
ads
Use synonyms
 on their choices and preferences. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective, as advertisements are carefully crafted to shape consumer behaviour, and to foster consumerism and brand loyalty. One thing many people are unaware
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
ads
Use synonyms
 is that they  gradually change the preferences and choices of the spectators. Modern
advitising
Correct your spelling
advertising
 relies on psychological tactics
such
Linking Words
 as subliminal messaging, emotional appeal and powerful aspiration imagery.
For example
Linking Words
, cosmetics companies
depit
Correct your spelling
depict
debit
 their products to be associated
wih
Correct your spelling
with
 success, fame and love, driving their customers to equate
such
Linking Words
 ideals with
Correct article usage
the consumptions
show examples
consumptions
Fix the agreement mistake
consumption
show examples
 of their
make-ups
Fix the agreement mistake
make-up
show examples
.  Even people who perceive themselves as immune to these marketing strategies would be affected by frequent exposure and gradually change their brand identification. Another significant impact of advertising is its ability to cultivate a culture of consumerism.
Targetting
Correct your spelling
Targeting
 specific demographics with strategic marketing strategies guarantees a company's continuous sales.
For instance
Linking Words
, many technology companies are now promoting their brands by emphasizing the must-have nature of their latest upgraded devices.
This
Linking Words
 attracts customers to purchase the companies' new products, enhancing their sales growth.
Moreover
Linking Words
, advertisements are designed to foster consumer loyalty by establishing
emotional
Add an article
an emotional
show examples
 connection between their brands and consumers.
This
Linking Words
 can be evidently seen through Coca-Cola
ads
Use synonyms
, which evoke a sense of nostalgia, togetherness and love. These strong feelings ensure customers
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
associate
wih
Correct your spelling
with
 their brand and remain loyal to it over time. In conclusion, advertising culture has become popular among businesses despite the argument that it is merely annoying or visually pleasing.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, its impacts in shaping consumer behaviours and driving purchasing decisions are undeniable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I completely disagree
wih
Correct your spelling
with
 the argument.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay has a strong logical structure, consider using more explicit transitional words or phrases to enhance the coherence further. This will help guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
Task Achievement
Ensure complete accuracy in word choice and spelling, as there are minor inaccuracies that could be refined. For instance, 'advitising' should be 'advertising,' and 'depit' should be 'depict.'
Task Achievement
Explore the counterargument more explicitly to provide a more balanced view, even if you disagree with it. This will demonstrate a full engagement with all perspectives on the question.
Task Achievement
The essay effectively challenges common perceptions of advertising, providing a strong stance that is well articulated through the argument's main points.
Task Achievement
The examples of cosmetics and technology advertisements are particularly effective in illustrating how advertising shapes consumer behavior.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes and reinforces the argument, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: