Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Nowadays,
due to
many medical Linking Words
mistakes
people have lost their trust in their treatment. Add a comma
mistakes,
As a consequence
, most Linking Words
paitients
prefer to follow traditional and alternative treatments rather than visiting their family doctor. I think it is a negative development and can even affect someone’s life. In Correct your spelling
patients
this
essay, I will propose my opinion and draw a conclusion.
In some regions, the majority of Linking Words
population
Add an article
the population
believe
in their friends’ Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
instead
of following their Linking Words
doctors’
Correct your spelling
doctor’s
prescription
. In some cases, it might be a life-threatening action and the Fix the agreement mistake
prescriptions
paitient
may die because of his or her Correct your spelling
patient
disobeiance
. Correct your spelling
disobedience
Moreover
, if the disease were contagious, it Linking Words
can
Wrong verb form
could
also
affect Linking Words
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
life
.
Generally, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
loosing
public trust Replace the word
losing
to
medical physicians has a bad mental effect on doctors’ minds. Change preposition
in
This
situation can make them disappointed and Linking Words
as a result
, Linking Words
less
students will tend to study medical science at the university. Change the quantifier
fewer
Consequently
, the future society will suffer from a lack of experts.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, some domestic treatments are better than going to a hospital. Linking Words
For instance
, some minor diseases like catching Linking Words
cold
, can be cured by taking some over-the-counter medications and drinking warm liquids. Change the article
a cold
In
Change preposition
On
this
occasion, not going to a clinic can even prevent the patient from catching Linking Words
further
viruses as their immune system is Linking Words
weakend
.
Correct your spelling
weakened
weekend
To sum up
, the number of bodies who refuse to visit doctors is increasing. Linking Words
This
may cause some irreversible complications Linking Words
to
people’s life. In my view, doctors should gain back the public trust by enhancing their knowledge and reducing Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
iotrogenic
mistakes.Correct your spelling
iatrogenic
estrogenic
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure all arguments are clearly linked back to the main thesis for improved coherence.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to deepen the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the argument effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt adequately and presents a cohesive argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical flow of ideas, and each paragraph supports the overall opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.