Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?
craft is a form of feeling, culture, and history
as well as
it gives feathers to one's imagination. Some individuals believe that bureaucrats are spending a lot of money on the arts which is not worthy and could be spent on other things. I partially agree with Linking Words
this
statement and Linking Words
this
essay will shed light on the points with examples in upcoming paragraphs.
Linking Words
To begin
with, through expertise bodies know about the history of the nation Linking Words
such
as in museums and galleries there are numerous paintings, statues and pictures related to our culture and history. society Linking Words
visit
these kinds of museums because regard government has to maintain these places so that they can preserve Correct subject-verb agreement
visits
precious
Add an article
the precious
craft
. Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
Moreover
, there are various Linking Words
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
who
earn their bread and butter through Correct pronoun usage
that
Add an article
the facility
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
as well as
Linking Words
they
contribute through their amazing work and represent the country on an international level Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as in exhibitions. To illustrate, recently wax museum with extremely popular Linking Words
celebrities
statues opened in Mumbai and a plethora of crowd visit Change the noun form
celebrity
this
every day it Linking Words
also
creates Linking Words
the
revenue for bureaucracy.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, there are tremendous other issues Linking Words
such
as shortage of food, mentally ill children, poverty, shortage of shelter Linking Words
as well as
crime etc. The government can spend money to improve the education system as it is more imperative as compared to the arts. Linking Words
Furthermore
, they need to keep an eye on poverty as every day thousands of people die Linking Words
due to
a shortage of food because they can not afford it. Linking Words
Apart from
Linking Words
this
, children are the future of any country and high bodies should invest in their growth Linking Words
for instance
, they should take care of sick children who are staying in care homes Linking Words
therefore
, they can have a good future.
In conclusion, artistry is important to preserve but not more than today's issues, if the future of the country is not healthy what authority will do with Linking Words
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
preserving
Replace the word
preservation
.
So, the government should highlight other problems as well and they should spend money wisely.Change the punctuation
?
Submitted by jasvir1012kaur on
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task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on how spending on arts affects other sectors more significantly.
coherence cohesion
Add stronger transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve sentence structure for clarity.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states the position and outlines the structure of the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both viewpoints, providing a balanced discussion.
supported main points
Examples such as the wax museum in Mumbai effectively illustrate points.