Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?
In today's world, there is a heavy debate about all human beings are born equal and
hence
every male and female are capable of doing the same work
, while
others disagree with this
statement saying there are some areas in which female genders cannot work
. This
is because of the strength difference in the body and the nature of the job they work
in.
On the one hand, I believe that through hard work
and dedication every human whoever it is, can achieve anything in this
world. There are many places where people of all genders work
together because of the skills they possess which do not need much physical power. For example
, working in an IT department depends purely on the talent of the employee and anybody in this
world can gain this
without necessarily having muscle power. However
, every employment on the Earth is not like that.
On the flip side, there are certain places where females cannot operate because of their physical nature. Oil rigs, for instance
, are a place that requires working on heavy machinery which takes a lot of boot strength to handle them. So, men possessing a stronger personality are chosen for this
type of work
, which cannot be found in the opposite gender. By nature, women are weaker in this
area and hence
cannot compete with men.
In conclusion, even though all humans are created equal there is a lack of strength in females which restricts them from operating in some fields. Specially, where muscle power is required on the talent.Submitted by hassan05.quadri on
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coherence cohesion
Rephrase some sentences for better readability and flow. For example, the first sentence can be simplified to: 'There is a heavy debate in today's world about whether men and women are capable of doing the same work.'
task achievement
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively. Currently, it feels slightly repetitive and could be clearer.
task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced viewpoint.
task achievement
You use relevant examples to support your points, which helps illustrate your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?