IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to
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this
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 technologically fast-growing era,
space
Use synonyms
 exploration has become one of the biggest subjects
that is
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 being invested in.
However
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, I totally agree that governments must spend
this
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 budget to increase human life quality by funding education and urban development and not waste on astronomical studies.
Firstly
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, the amount of money that would be spent on one small research on a spacecraft, could be spent on schools and universities.
For example
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, if stakeholders consider a $200k budget
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 aerospace project to grant some remote areas,
this
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 would easily secure hundreds of students to pursue their education, which will definitely result in a more sophisticated society in the future.
Hence
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,
this
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 step absolutely benefits the country more than
space
Use synonyms
 studies. As a second area which could be funded
instead
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 of
space
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 expeditions, urban planning is a perfect fit. The reason behind
this
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 is that ,
although
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space
Use synonyms
 research
such
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 as plans to find a new and clean planet for human living sounds interesting , I believe
this
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 budget could prepare an Ideal urban design.
For instance
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, a city with a better infrastructure of public transportation and
also
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 limiting population growth would ultimately lead to clean weather to live in and
as a result
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, there would be no need to waste millions of dollars just to navigate a star or planet to live in the future. In conclusion, I side with the idea that aerospace studies are wasting a huge amount of money to be explored and
instead
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, governments could fund youth education and urban designing to make progress on our planet Earth.

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introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly states the writer's position, but it could be enhanced by explicitly outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
logical structure
Each paragraph has a clear main point, but the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
relevant specific examples
While the essay offers relevant examples, more specific data or case studies could strengthen the arguments further.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand a bit on how urban planning can directly improve specific aspects of life quality to make the argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay provides a well-reasoned argument on redirecting investment from space exploration to education and urban planning.
introduction conclusion
Both the introduction and conclusion effectively convey the writer's stance.
supported main points
Each paragraph follows a clear structure with a topic sentence, explanation, and example, contributing to the logical coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
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