Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, there are many arguments about the impacts of
cooperating
and Replace the word
cooperation
competition
. Some Use synonyms
people
believe Use synonyms
competition
in Use synonyms
wide
range of things is necessary Add an article
a wide
while
others disagree since they think team Linking Words
working
is more beneficial than competing against each other. In Change the form of the verb
work
this
essay, I will discuss both views and present my own opinion.
On the one hand, Linking Words
competition
is useful in many ways. Most of the Use synonyms
times
, when Fix the agreement mistake
time
people
Use synonyms
involve
in a Wrong verb form
are involved
competition
they try harder to show their best performance. Use synonyms
For example
, if a school makes a Linking Words
competition
in math assignments , we may observe more effort and Use synonyms
hardworking
from students Correct word choice
hard work
while
Linking Words
on
Change preposition
in
the
normal Correct article usage
apply
circumstances
they would not put all their effort Add a comma
circumstances,
on
that. Change preposition
into
In addition
, Linking Words
competition
is like a race and everyone wants to win, which makes a motivation for an individual.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are other reasons that show why some Linking Words
people
prefer cooperating rather than Use synonyms
competition
. When you Use synonyms
are always think
about winning and Change the verb form
are always thinking
loosing
, you put Correct your spelling
losing
your self
under a significant amount of stress. Correct your spelling
yourself
Additionally
, stress Linking Words
cause
many illnesses. Replace the word
causes
Moreover
, being in a Linking Words
competition
and Use synonyms
loosing
Replace the word
losing
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
dissapointment
and low Correct your spelling
disappointment
self-steam
in Correct your spelling
self-esteem
people
. Use synonyms
However
, working together as a team Linking Words
have
lots of benefits. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
For instance
, when a task requires different skills , gathering a group of Linking Words
people
to help would be more satisfying and Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
results
in better outcomes.
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
To conclude
, being in a Linking Words
competition
can release more passion and motivation Use synonyms
while
can cause many health and mental problems. I personally believe working as a team would be more beneficial than being in a race with others.Linking Words
Submitted by Mahshad
on
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both competition and cooperation. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made, particularly in relation to the benefits of cooperation.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas, but at times, the argument could be developed more comprehensively. Consider expanding on how cooperation can be applied effectively in various settings, not just focusing on the potential stress of competition.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of competition to the drawbacks of stress could be made smoother by connecting the two points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively outline the main points and summarize the writer's standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with the viewpoints on competition and cooperation clearly delineated and discussed in separate paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the issue and the conclusion summarizes the writer's opinion effectively, which strengthens the overall clarity of the essay.