Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, there are many arguments about the impacts of
cooperating
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cooperation
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and
competition
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. Some
people
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believe
competition
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in
wide
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a wide
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range of things is necessary
while
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others disagree since they think team
working
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work
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is more beneficial than competing against each other. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both views and present my own opinion. On the one hand,
competition
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is useful in many ways. Most of the
times
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time
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, when
people
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involve
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are involved
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in a
competition
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they try harder to show their best performance.
For example
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, if a school makes a
competition
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in math assignments , we may observe more effort and
hardworking
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hard work
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from students
while
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on
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in
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the
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apply
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normal
circumstances
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circumstances,
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they would not put all their effort
on
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into
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that.
In addition
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,
competition
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is like a race and everyone wants to win, which makes a motivation for an individual.
On the other hand
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, there are other reasons that show why some
people
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prefer cooperating rather than
competition
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. When you
are always think
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are always thinking
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about winning and
loosing
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losing
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, you put
your self
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yourself
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under a significant amount of stress.
Additionally
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, stress
cause
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causes
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many illnesses.
Moreover
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, being in a
competition
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and
loosing
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losing
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cause
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causes
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dissapointment
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disappointment
and low
self-steam
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self-esteem
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in
people
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.
However
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, working together as a team
have
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has
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lots of benefits.
For instance
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, when a task requires different skills , gathering a group of
people
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to help would be more satisfying and
also
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results
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result
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in better outcomes.
To conclude
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, being in a
competition
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can release more passion and motivation
while
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can cause many health and mental problems. I personally believe working as a team would be more beneficial than being in a race with others.
Submitted by Mahshad on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both competition and cooperation. However, it could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points made, particularly in relation to the benefits of cooperation.
task achievement
The essay presents clear ideas, but at times, the argument could be developed more comprehensively. Consider expanding on how cooperation can be applied effectively in various settings, not just focusing on the potential stress of competition.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. For example, the transition from discussing the benefits of competition to the drawbacks of stress could be made smoother by connecting the two points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively outline the main points and summarize the writer's standpoint.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, with the viewpoints on competition and cooperation clearly delineated and discussed in separate paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the issue and the conclusion summarizes the writer's opinion effectively, which strengthens the overall clarity of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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