A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Social
status
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and money have high value in today's society and have changed our old-fashioned values to some content.
However
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, I don't believe a person's worth to be judged by social
status
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and material possessions. Nowadays, most celebrities as role models have material wealth and different social hierarchies. Many celebrities have some problems but are still popular and
this
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makes many
people
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envy their material possessions.
For example
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, celebrities who cheat on their wife or lie are still admired by society because they are rich and have mansions, sports cars, and other materials.
As a result
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, many
people
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started to judge a person by social
status
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and money.
Furthermore
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, I still believe there are many
people
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who have
such
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as honour, kindness, and trust. There are many parents who still give education for their children to do interpretation in their daily lives because many parents believe
this
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can protect their children from harm.
Additionally
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, some attitudes toward education are still interpreted by teachers in the school for students because they believe a good attitude can lead them to success in the future.
For instance
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, Teacher still
teach
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teaches
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their students about a good attitude
such
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as honour, kindness, and trust because
this
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can build a good friendship and be effective in the future. In conclusion,
while
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status
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and possessions as valued by some
people
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too are popular in the modern era, I believe most ordinary
people
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still admire old behaviour and parents and teachers will continue to teach their children to respect them.
Submitted by dliyaa on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure with more distinct separation between the various points you are presenting. Try using paragraphs more effectively to separate different ideas and maintain cohesion throughout your response.
task achievement
Ensure your arguments are fully developed. In some areas, ideas are introduced but not extensively explored or substantiated with examples. Try to delve deeper into each point to enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Minor grammatical issues can affect clarity and flow. Be mindful of verb agreement and sentence structure to improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your arguments well, establishing a coherent start and finish.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that substantiate your views, such as references to celebrities, parents, and teachers, which help illustrate your points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay maintains a balanced discussion, highlighting both modern societal values and the ongoing importance of traditional values, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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