A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Social
status
and money have high value in today's society and have changed our old-fashioned values to some content. Use synonyms
However
, I don't believe a person's worth to be judged by social Linking Words
status
and material possessions.
Nowadays, most celebrities as role models have material wealth and different social hierarchies. Many celebrities have some problems but are still popular and Use synonyms
this
makes many Linking Words
people
envy their material possessions. Use synonyms
For example
, celebrities who cheat on their wife or lie are still admired by society because they are rich and have mansions, sports cars, and other materials. Linking Words
As a result
, many Linking Words
people
started to judge a person by social Use synonyms
status
and money.
Use synonyms
Furthermore
, I still believe there are many Linking Words
people
who have Use synonyms
such
as honour, kindness, and trust. There are many parents who still give education for their children to do interpretation in their daily lives because many parents believe Linking Words
this
can protect their children from harm. Linking Words
Additionally
, some attitudes toward education are still interpreted by teachers in the school for students because they believe a good attitude can lead them to success in the future. Linking Words
For instance
, Teacher still Linking Words
teach
their students about a good attitude Change the verb form
teaches
such
as honour, kindness, and trust because Linking Words
this
can build a good friendship and be effective in the future.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
status
and possessions as valued by some Use synonyms
people
too are popular in the modern era, I believe most ordinary Use synonyms
people
still admire old behaviour and parents and teachers will continue to teach their children to respect them.Use synonyms
Submitted by dliyaa on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure with more distinct separation between the various points you are presenting. Try using paragraphs more effectively to separate different ideas and maintain cohesion throughout your response.
task achievement
Ensure your arguments are fully developed. In some areas, ideas are introduced but not extensively explored or substantiated with examples. Try to delve deeper into each point to enhance understanding.
coherence cohesion
Minor grammatical issues can affect clarity and flow. Be mindful of verb agreement and sentence structure to improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your arguments well, establishing a coherent start and finish.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that substantiate your views, such as references to celebrities, parents, and teachers, which help illustrate your points effectively.
task achievement
Your essay maintains a balanced discussion, highlighting both modern societal values and the ongoing importance of traditional values, which shows a good understanding of the topic.