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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people today feel that art classes are no longer necessary in schools. They think that technology classes are more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #classes #schools #technology
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The debate over whether
art
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classes
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 remain necessary in schools is an important one.
While
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 technological literacy is undeniably critical in today's world, the value of
art
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education
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 should not be underestimated. Both disciplines offer unique benefits that contribute to the holistic development of
students
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. There is no doubt that
technology
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 has become a cornerstone of modern society.
Classes
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 focused on coding, digital literacy, and engineering equip
students
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 with
essential
Correct article usage
the essential
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 skills needed to navigate and succeed in a rapidly evolving job market.
Furthermore
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,
technology
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education
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 fosters critical thinking, problem-solving, and adaptability, which are crucial in a tech-driven world.
As a result
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, some argue that prioritizing
technology
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 over
art
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 is a logical step in preparing
students
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 for the future. Despite the rise of
technology
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,
art
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classes
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 play a vital role in nurturing creativity, emotional expression, and cultural awareness.
Art
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education
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 encourages
students
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 to think imaginatively, explore their identities, and develop visual and spatial intelligence. These skills are not only applicable to artistic careers but
also
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 enhance innovation in fields like design, marketing, and even
technology
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 itself.
Moreover
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,
art
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 fosters emotional well-being and provides an outlet for self-expression, which is essential for mental health. Rather than viewing
art
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 and
technology
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 as mutually exclusive, schools should aim to integrate both into their curricula. A balanced approach would allow
students
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 to harness the power of
technology
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while
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also
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 cultivating their creativity and emotional intelligence. Interdisciplinary projects,
such
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 as digital
art
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 or app design, demonstrate how these fields can complement each other effectively. In conclusion,
while
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technology
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classes
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 are undeniably essential in today's
education
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 system,
art
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classes
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 remain equally important for fostering creativity and emotional well-being.
Instead
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 of choosing one over the other, schools should strive to provide a well-rounded
education
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 that prepares
students
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 for the complexities of modern life.
Submitted by lizzieyohana on

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task achievement
Consider integrating more specific examples to enrich and support your points further. Including examples can make your argument more compelling and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Maintain this clear structure in all your essays. It's effective and helps in getting your ideas across smoothly. Keep using topic sentences and relevant concluding lines for each paragraph.
task achievement
Your essay provides a thorough and balanced analysis of the topic, discussing the importance of both art and technology classes in a well-rounded education.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, with clear links between ideas. This enhances the flow and makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, making your position on the topic very clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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