IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar graph illustrates male and female students proficient in a foreign language. Summarize key features and make comparisin where relavant.

The bar graph illustrates male and female students proficient in a foreign language. Summarize key features and make comparisin where relavant.
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The
given
Verb problem
apply
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bar graph illustrates
a
Correct article usage
apply
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foreign
language
Use synonyms
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in male and woman
students
Use synonyms
 from six different countries.
Overall
Linking Words
, woman
students
Use synonyms
 from all countries have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 than male
students
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 except Thailand.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Romanian, Indian, Russian and Vietnamese
students
Use synonyms
 have more
language
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proficiency
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 than Chinese and Thai
students
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. Around 68% of Indian female
students
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 have
proficiency
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 in foreign
language
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while
Linking Words
 around 56% of male Indian
students
Use synonyms
 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, around 64% of Romanian female
students
Use synonyms
 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 around 42% of male Romanian
students
Use synonyms
 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in foreign a
language
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, Approximately, 56% of Vietnamese woman
students
Use synonyms
 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 below 42% of male
students
Use synonyms
 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in Thailand, above 28% of male
students
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 and below 28% of female
students
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 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, above 42% of Russian female
students
Use synonyms
 and roughly 35% of Russian male
students
Use synonyms
 have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, only above 28% of female and 14% of male Chinese
students
Use synonyms
 respectively have
proficiency
Use synonyms
 in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words language, proficiency, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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