IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.

The Pie chart gives information about the country of birth of people living in Australia and the table shows where people born in these countries live.
#information #country #birth #people #australia #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie chart above displays the percentage of some countries of birth for
indvisualls
Correct your spelling
individuals
 who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in
Australia
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the table presents the countries and the
percantage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in cities and others in
rurual
Correct your spelling
rural
 areas.
Overall
Linking Words
, as
it is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shown in the pie chart Australians
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the highest number of
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 in the
contenint
Correct your spelling
country
. Meanwhile has the lowest amount of People who
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 in that location.
Next,
Linking Words
the table demonstrates
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the specific part of
Australia
Use synonyms
 these nationalities
stays
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
 in clearly showing that most prefer living in the
city
Use synonyms
side
Use synonyms
. The first notable trend is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Australians
occupied
Wrong verb form
occupy
show examples
 up to 71%
percente
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of the land which is the largest among other states,
While
Linking Words
 the
UK
Use synonyms
containes
Correct your spelling
contains
 7%
Change preposition
of indvisuals
show examples
indvisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
 in it coming at the third highest after other nationalities having 14% of the region. When it comes to New Zealand , China and
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
 all three
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the smallest amount of native people,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 the three of them don't have a big difference coming in with the highest at 3%
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
New Zealand, as
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 has only 2% and
lastly
Linking Words
 is
Neatherlands
Correct your spelling
Netherlands
 filling 1% of the ground. The second image displays a table, containing detailed information about where most people
choose
Add the particle
choose to
show examples
 stay in. In
general
Add a comma
general,
show examples
 it can
bee
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
seen
Add the auxiliary verb
is seen
show examples
 that a
nemuors
Correct your spelling
Nemours
amont
Correct your spelling
amount
among
preferes
Correct your spelling
prefers
 the
city
Use synonyms
side
Use synonyms
, as China is the
leading
Replace the word
leader
show examples
 with 99% in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
while
Linking Words
 having the least in rural
side
Use synonyms
 by just 1%.
Netherlands
Correct article usage
The Netherlands
show examples
 comes
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 second place
ye
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
really close to the
UK
Use synonyms
 at 90% in
Correct article usage
the suburb
show examples
suburb
Fix the agreement mistake
suburbs
show examples
 and only 10%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 is close enough with a one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 difference
89
Change preposition
of 89
show examples
% in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
a city
show examples
,
11
Correct word choice
and 11
show examples
% in rural areas.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least both New
zealand
Change the capitalization
Zealand
show examples
 and
Australia
Use synonyms
 as they are
also
Linking Words
 as close as the
UK
Use synonyms
 and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
, starting with the biggest
Australia
Use synonyms
 occupying 83% of the
city
Use synonyms
 land meanwhile having only 17%, next is
Newzealnd
Correct your spelling
Newzealand
 containing the fewest by 80% in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 and 20% in the country land.
Submitted by mahaassiri113 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, city, side, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "displays" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stays" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: