IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion

#people #places #visit #food #points
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It is true in the present era, many individuals prefer changing their lifestyle in places, travelling and a variety of food,
while
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, there is a team of community who tend toward the popular things. In
this
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 essay, we explore to discuss both viewpoints, and I will mention my perspective that society goes toward trying is worse than the public doing the same things. On the one hand, several public enjoy training in different items in their life. To illustrate more, youngsters love travelling by car, plane, train and bus.
Besides
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 with trend, a lot of them face some challenges in restaurants , especially in a type of food,
therefore
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, a few adults suffer from diseases like obesity and fat.
On the other hand
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, nations hate to change their lifestyle and they consider that a danger to their life.
For example
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, the residents who live in the centre of my country have the same tradition of travelling. To demonstrate, the young in there can not visit his friends on other sites without his dad. As
consequently
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 with, adults poor to study at university after finishing school.
Moreover
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, many ladies stay at home to share in cooking and serving the man. In conclusion, I am convinced individuals who prefer practising a variety of things in their lifestyle are more confident than individuals who stay imitative of others.
Therefore
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, the government should boost these categories of people and support them with items which assist them to improve.
Besides
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this
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 trend, the country
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
 introducing taxes on different sides of it.
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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Coherence
Ensure consistency in your argument. Your introduction presents a thesis that trying new things is bad, but your conclusion suggests otherwise.
Task Response
Avoid repetition and be concise in your statements to improve clarity.
Task Response
Use clearer examples that directly relate to the points being discussed.
Task Response
You made an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, which is a crucial part of the task requirements.
Coherence
The structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs, is a positive aspect that aids coherence.
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