Countries with a long average working time are more economically successful, but they are also likely to suffer from negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

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It is widely believed that the length of working hours determines a country's economic success but
also
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brings negative social impacts for its workers. I strongly agree with
this
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statement because it decreases their mental health and causes a social gap. First and foremost, the vast majority of employees experience a lack of
time
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to relax. Limited spare
time
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makes it difficult for individuals to recover or enjoy their pastime, as the human body has its limits.
For example
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, when employees often
work
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overtime with an excessive workload, they do not have
time
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for self-care. Even on weekends, they may spend their
time
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catching up on sleep
instead
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of relaxing, only to face a busy Monday.
As a result
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,
this
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routine, when sustained over a long period, increases the risk of stress, fatigue, and burnout.
Furthermore
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, people who sacrifice their
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
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long hours for
this
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often feel increasingly disconnected from social interactions.
This
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is mostly
due to
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workers with uncommon schedules
tend
Correct pronoun usage
who tend
show examples
to have less
time
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
socialise with friends or even family.
For instance
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, parents who
work
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outside the house with a packed schedule are often absent from their children's growth. In
such
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cases, children may feel a lack of attention from their busy parents, creating emotional distance within the family. Parents may feel guilty, but they often cannot help since they must earn a living. In conclusion, countries may achieve greater economic success by demanding their society to
work
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long hours, but
this
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comes with consequences
such
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as a decline in population health and strained social relationships.
Submitted by nineband9s on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the task are fully addressed. You might elaborate on how economic success pairs with long working hours and explore more on why or why not this trade-off is beneficial in the long term.
task response
Expanding on your examples will further strengthen your arguments. Consider incorporating additional perspectives or countries as illustrations.
coherence cohesion
Keep sentences varied to maintain reader interest and to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps set and close the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
The points about mental health and social disconnection are well linked to the overall argument about negative consequences.
coherence cohesion
The argument is logically structured, moving from point to point smoothly within paragraphs.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average working time
  • Economically successful
  • Negative social consequences
  • Employee burnout
  • Competitive edge
  • Global markets
  • Consumer spending
  • Productivity
  • Work-life balance
  • Mental health issues
  • Community ties
  • Societal well-being
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