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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that to make healthy foods like fruits and vegetables more affordable, they should be subsidised by the government. Others believe that it is better to tax unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your option.

#people #foods #fruits #vegetables #government #tax #option
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A group of
people
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 believe that governments should promote the usage of a healthy diet consisting of natural unprocessed options.
While
Linking Words
 others advocate policies which increase the price of harmful
food
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. I utterly agree with the latter. Putting a tax on materials which can damage our bodies can make crowd alter their eating habits positively. It means that at first
people
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 modify their diet to decrease the
food
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-related budget, but eventually, it results in an adjustment in their routines and
food
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 behaviours.
For example
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, raising fast-
food
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 prices could lead to novel healthy diets which
consequently
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 instil good eating habits. The tax should
also
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 be put on
food
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 industries in order to make them shift their production toward more nutritionally valued
food
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. Meaning that
,
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apply
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 the tax makes the profits economically unreasonable.
For instance
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, many countries have successfully reduced the smoking rate by putting a surcharge on cigarette production. Some individuals may think subsidization of nutrients like agricultural products can improve global health. They rationalize that
people
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 buy more affordable
food
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 and it leads to a healthier society. But
this
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 mindset should be refuted as diet habits would not be revised if junk
food
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also
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 had reasonable prices. In fact, we need to correct the global taste for unhealthy diets by making them unaffordable. One
such
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 example would be increasing duty on salt and salt-rich products. In conclusion, I believe the more expensive unhealthy
food
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 is, the more
people
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 will modify their eating attitude in a positive way which in turn contributes to general health.
Submitted by drmmdi on

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are fully developed with specific examples to enhance clarity and understanding.
coherence
Use more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument and clearly states your opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay by outlining the debate and stating your viewpoint.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, making it easy to follow your line of thought.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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