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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

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These days, overcrowding is a major issue in many cities across the world, leading to various problems. There are some causes of
this
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 phenomenon,
however
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, there are
also
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 potential solutions that could be employed. First of all,there is a rate of migration from rural and underdeveloped
areas
Use synonyms
 which is critically high. People relocate to large cities in search of golden opportunities and improved living circumstances for themselves and the children they have.
As a result
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,
such
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areas
Use synonyms
 become overcrowded, and the pollution levels rise,
as well as
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 infrastructure becomes congested. To address
this
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 problem, the government should investigate infrastructure in small, isolated
areas
Use synonyms
,
develop
Correct word choice
and develop
show examples
 the educational system and job creation in order to raise the percentage of people's satisfaction with living conditions. Creating better living conditions in
such
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areas
Use synonyms
 will reduce the pressure on major centres and cities.
In addition
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,
high
Add an article
the high
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 birth rate in megapolices leads to overpopulation there. The vast majority of people are ignorant about appropriate family planning, which is a consequence of having more than five children in a family.
Such
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 cases contribute to an overloading of urban systems and
likewise
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 to a reducing the standard of living of
such
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 families.
Thus
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, the implementation of awareness and teaching programs in the educational process can significantly increase people’s knowledge about birth control and family planning. In summary, there are many contributing causes to the complex problem of overcrowding in large urban centres. The issue of overpopulation can be successfully addressed by putting in place laws that support
decentralization
Correct article usage
the decentralization
show examples
 of small towns and offering reproductive health information.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, such as specific cities or statistics, to make your argument more compelling and grounded.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between ideas to improve the flow of the essay. This will enhance the overall readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the problem and briefly suggests solutions, which sets a strong framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The discussion of causes and potential solutions is well-structured, addressing both aspects of the question effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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