Children find it difficult to concentrate on or pay attention to school. What are the reasons? How can we solve this problem?

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It is universally acknowledged that
concentration
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plays a critical role in education. Unfortunately, recently, it has been a concern that the level of
students
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's focus on subjects at schools has significantly declined. In
this
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regard,
this
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essay will discuss the causes of
this
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problem and propose practical solutions as well. Looking in detail at the reasons for low
concentration
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at schools, it should be taken into account that focusing is influenced by various factors. The most important one is the change in people's lifestyles. To put it differently, youngsters have got used to staying up late or eating unhealthy snacks which considerably impacts people's awareness and
concentration
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. It is scientifically proven that a lack of sleep and unhealthy nutrition leads to a decrease in
brain's
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brain
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performance.
For example
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, a study declares that
students
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who sleep after midnight, hardly ever do they comprehend school subjects.
Due to
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the fact that the lack of
concentration
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is a vital issue;
thus
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, it entails prompt and practical solutions. First and foremost, unhealthy habits should be eliminated from juveniles' lifestyles.
This
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can be implemented through widespread advertising by governments and schools. They should enlighten
students
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about the consequences of their harmful habitats. In
this
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regard, renowned celebrities can participate in useful programs and meetings and talk about their healthy habitat to pupils.
This
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notion can have an effect on juveniles' lifestyles
due to
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their enthusiasm for famous people.
For example
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, Ronaldo, a prominent sports figure, forbade the consumption of cola on TV, and after that, the selling rate of cola dramatically declined among learners. In conclusion, every individual needs to be aware
while
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they are studying. The lack of
concentration
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dramatically increases the efficiency of
students
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. Regarding
this
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, not only governments but
also
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school's
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school
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managers should take it seriously because , in the long run, it would definitely affect pupils's academic performance.
Submitted by pskhandelwal13 on

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task response
Ensure all ideas are directly related to the central question. While the essay addresses the reasons and solutions, focusing on a few key points in greater depth could enhance task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain consistent use of cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas. Currently, cohesion is well-maintained, but there are opportunities to enhance smoothness between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear structure.
task response
The essay uses specific examples, such as the study related to sleep and concentration and Ronaldo's influence, to support main points, enhancing the relevance and depth of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Attention span
  • Cognitive function
  • Digital devices
  • Screen time
  • Physical activity
  • Concentration
  • Nutrition
  • Processed foods
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Mental health
  • Academic performance
  • Classroom environment
  • Teaching assistants
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