More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Mostly the younger generation in well-developed nations are becoming obese day by day and
this
problem is becoming Linking Words
a serious issues
across these countries . There are various reasons associated with Correct the article-noun agreement
a serious issue
serious issues
this
problem that will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs Linking Words
along with
the effects of Linking Words
this
issue and Linking Words
also
a solution will Linking Words
be provide
to solve Change the verb form
be provided
this
problem .
Linking Words
First
and Foremost reasonCorrect article usage
The first
of
becoming obese in Change preposition
for
case
of youngsters in developed countries is Correct article usage
the case
consumption
of fast Add an article
the consumption
food
. In foreign countries , children do not Use synonyms
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
time
to prepare Use synonyms
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
food
because of their busy Use synonyms
lifestyle
. They do not only have the responsibility to manage their studies but Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
also
have to do work for longer hours . So , because of these stressful routines , they always give more preference to consume Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
that is
easy to get . That's why , their eating habits Linking Words
having
detrimental effects on their health .
Another cause of overweight for students who are living abroad is less physical activity . In foreign nations , Wrong verb form
have
mostly
children try to spend their leisure Correct your spelling
most
time
with Use synonyms
the
technological gadgets Correct article usage
apply
such
as mobile phones , computers and Linking Words
laptop
soon .In terms of playing games online rather than going outside in parks or grounds with their friends . Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
These sedentary lifestyle
can become Change the determiner
This sedentary lifestyle
These sedentary lifestyles
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
of
many health issues like heart and blood pressure problems .
Change preposition
for
However
, Students Linking Words
having
less Wrong verb form
have
time
Use synonyms
in
abroad because of their work and study life , but with the advent Change preposition
apply
proper
Change preposition
of proper
time
management skills they can organize Use synonyms
there
things in Replace the word
their
more
Correct article usage
a more
effcetive
way and get proper Correct your spelling
effective
time
for their physical activities Use synonyms
as well as
crucial tasks like preparing home healthy meal . Linking Words
Thus
, in Linking Words
this
Linking Words
way
they will not become the victim of overweight .
In conclusion , Add a comma
way,
Eventhough
students do not have enough Correct your spelling
even though
time
to prepare Use synonyms
food
for themselves Use synonyms
along with
less Linking Words
time
for healthy Use synonyms
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
due to
their Linking Words
sendentary
lifestyle but with proper guidance and Correct your spelling
sedentary
time
Use synonyms
management
they can easily get Add a comma
management,
time
for themselves and reduce the chance of becoming overweight.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your points, perhaps from real-world contexts or personal observations.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all points are clearly linked with transition words or phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and make sure each paragraph adds a new dimension to your argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses a relevant topic and discusses causes and effects comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.