IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating.

The graph below shows information about the kinds of food that teenagers in Australia enjoyed eating.
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The line graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of times that young people in Australia enjoyed fast food between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, The
number
Use synonyms
 of times that Australian teenagers ate fish and chips saw a dramatic fall
while
Linking Words
 two other
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
, pizza and hamburger, had a rise over the given period. In 1975 the fish and chips figure was the highest one among
others
Correct article usage
the others
show examples
,
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of 100 and it was at its peak. It declined to around 80 by 1980,
then
Linking Words
 it sharply increased to reach a point of almost 95
number
Use synonyms
 per year
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1985. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it started to decrease gradually and hit its lowest point at
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 40 by the end of time.
In
Change the preposition
On
show examples
 the contrary, The other two figures had the opposite experience. The hamburger consumption
number
Use synonyms
 started at almost 10 and witnessed a sharp
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 until 1985 and
then
Linking Words
 gradually
approach
Wrong verb form
approached
show examples
 its peak at about 100 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1995 and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the almost same until the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. The pizza figure had a similar experience, it started
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
 5
number
Use synonyms
 and slowly climbed to about 30 by 1985 and after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it dramatically rose to hit its peak at
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 85 by 1995 and
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steady by the end
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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