IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people like to read online newspapers, on the other hand, others prefer to read paper based newspapers.Some people like to read online newspapers, on the other hand, others prefer to read paper based newspapers.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #newspapers #hand #paper
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Technology advances provide humans easier life than before.
For example
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, the
way
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people
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 get more
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 now is not only based on traditional
newspapers
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 but
also
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with
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in
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 the online
way
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. Both approaches,
however
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, have a positive
way
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 relatively.
This
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 essay suggests online
newspapers
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 are more practical and mobile-friendly than the others
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Furthermore
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, based on my experience, I have felt that obtaining news on the internet
remains
Verb problem
keeps
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 me updated with any information around the world
as well as
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 gives me more reasons to enhance eco-friendly lifestyles with,
for instance
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, reducing paper production. Even so, online
newspapers
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 have several disadvantages like many distractions by online ads popping up
in
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on
show examples
 the site,
while
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 it can be easily solved by setting up in the control station.
Nevertheles
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
,
people
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 who prefer read
paper based
Add a hyphen
paper-based
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newspapers
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 are not bad. By doing so, they can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
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 engaged with a natural sense
such
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 as feeling
by
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apply
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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firsthand how the paper smell is relaxable for some
people
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.
In addition
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, reading
newspapers
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the old
way
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 is likely more comfortable because
of
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apply
show examples
paper-based
newspapers
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 feature information not only
with
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apply
show examples
eye-friendly but
also
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 have already been through a rigorous process in which journalists must
be telling
Wrong verb form
tell
show examples
people
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 the truth as accurately as possible. In conclusion, it actually depends on the
people
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 needed. Yet, if I am asked which I will prefer
for
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apply
show examples
, online
newspapers
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 still give me more beneficial things,
in particular
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 in the digital age where I need no more physical storage to
keeps
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 the information I get before.
Submitted by anwarkur20 on

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task achievement
Try to expand on specific examples, particularly in supporting the benefits or drawbacks of one format over the other, to better illustrate points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay would benefit from a more structured paragraph for opposing views and a clearer transition between them.
introduction/conclusion
Consider elaborating on points made in the conclusion, ensuring it encapsulates the argument broadly and revisits key points.
task achievement
Clear statement of opinion and preference backed with reasons.
logical structure
Good attempt to present both views objectively before providing a personal perspective.
introduction/conclusion
The conclusion effectively wraps up the main discussion, reiterating the writer's stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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