Urban environments are becoming unhealthy suggest causes and solutions

Some people believe that

today

Change noun form

today's

show examples

urban environments

cause

Use synonyms

more problems with health than they did before. Unfortunately, it can be seen that rapidly developing cities greatly affect the state of health of people and there are many causes of it. One main

cause

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

growing

poblem

Correct your spelling

problem

is that big cities, usually capitals, have high population density and

this

Linking Words

problem affects others.

As a result

Linking Words

, heavy traffic jams and it

also

Linking Words

causes air pollution.Another probable

cause

Use synonyms

of pollution might be growing

factories

Fix the agreement mistake

factory

show examples

production. It is known that eco-problems influence health,

therefore

Linking Words

urban environments

cause

Use synonyms

more problems. To deal with

this

Linking Words

major issue, the government might reduce

prices

Correct article usage

the prices

show examples

of houses outside the city. It could be a perfect solution for high population density. If

this

Linking Words

difficult situation is resolved

then

Linking Words

heavy traffic jams

also

Linking Words

would be reduced.

Current

Add an article

The current

show examples

situation with air pollution would be better, but

also

Linking Words

to solve

this

Linking Words

problem to the end

volonteers

Correct your spelling

volunteers

can plant some trees in the parks in big cities. In conclusion, urban environments are more unhealthy than they have ever been, but we can find many solutions for

this

Linking Words

major issue.

khotkina.ma

Dec 26, 2024

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task achievement

The essay provides a clear response to the task and addresses the causes and solutions. However, more specific examples related to modern urban issues like noise pollution, lifestyle, or technological factors could strengthen the response.

task achievement

Ensure that all points made are supported with sufficient detail. For instance, mentioning specific cities or statistics could add depth and clarity.

coherence cohesion

While there's a logical flow in the essay, transitions between ideas could be smoother. Use linking words to enhance coherence and guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay begins with a clear introduction and concludes effectively, summarizing the main points.

coherence cohesion

The argument is structured logically with clear paragraphing, addressing causes and solutions separately.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

186 words

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Urban environments are becoming unhealthy suggest causes and solutions

Advertisements of snacks and toys have a great impact on children and their parents. So, the advertisement to children should be banned. Do you agree or disagree

Many processed foods and ready-made meals contain preservatives and chemicals. Despite knowing this, many people still prefer to eat those foods. Why this is the case? What could be done to encourage people to eat more home-cooked food?

Some people believe that businesses have a responsibility to address environmental issues, while others think it is the role of governments to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Do good results at school or college guarantee success in life? Discuss the advantages that a good education can have on your future. Do you believe that studying hard will bring a better life?