IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The population of major cities around the world is increasing very fast. Why is this the case and what measures could be taken to solve this issue?

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It is true that the major
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world face the challenge of overpopulation in recent years. The main cause is that important institutions take place only in large
cities
Use synonyms
 no matter their services, to approach
this
Linking Words
 problem, the
government
Use synonyms
 should
distribution
Replace the word
distribute
show examples
these institution
Change the determiner
this institution
these institutions
show examples
 around the entire country. Starting with, companies that offer
superiour
Correct your spelling
superior
 products or services need to
attrack
Correct your spelling
attract
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of people in order to operate. To be more specific, the largest
number
Use synonyms
 of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is always found in
cities
Use synonyms
, many people request many different requirements,
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 it perfect for companies to locate near them to achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it can be beneficial for
proffesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 but disadvantages for the
government
Use synonyms
 and residents who will face problems like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 traffic congestion, population and
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution. Steps must start with the
government
Use synonyms
 to tackle the problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, enforcing distribution laws on
proffesionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
 to locate in both
cities
Use synonyms
 and villages in a
number
Use synonyms
 that
accommodeting
Correct your spelling
accommodating
 every district, these laws should meet the needs of humans and be based on areas'
capicaty
Correct your spelling
capacity
 to reduce the need to
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 abroad.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a
city
Add a comma
city,
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 there should be seven hospitals
while
Linking Words
 in a village two
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enough.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there should be fast transportation that
link
Change the verb form
links
show examples
 villages with major
cities
Use synonyms
 in order to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
villages more
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
.
For example
Linking Words
, as students who reside in urban areas can
inter
Correct your spelling
enter
show examples
 high-level
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
education schools in their homes, the
government
Use synonyms
 should force international
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to open there. In conclusion, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people will
continue
Add the particle
continue to
show examples
 increase in major
cities
Use synonyms
 unless
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
government
Use synonyms
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 strict distribution rules for companies that
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to hold in the country,
empasising
Correct your spelling
emphasising
emphasizing
 the importance of each area, with good transport.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument. Consider different aspects of overpopulation such as economic, social, and environmental impacts.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly within paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your response.
task achievement
The essay identifies both the causes and the potential solutions to urban overpopulation, showing a good understanding of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolitan areas
  • infrastructure
  • job opportunities
  • rural-urban migration
  • standard of living
  • globalization
  • decentralization
  • urban planning
  • public transportation
  • sustainable development
  • affordable housing
  • population density
  • birth rates
  • death rates
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational opportunities
  • cultural attractions
  • housing policies
  • eco-friendly
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