Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men, even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50% is female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

It is widely observed that most senior positions in different organisations are usually given to

men

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, regardless of 50% of the workforce is

women

Use synonyms

. Some people believe that more managerial posts should be offered to

women

Use synonyms

. I strongly support the given idea because it is important to avoid any possible discrimination.

Firstly

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

should be given a chance to be executives in order to reduce divisiveness and maintain the balance in working structures.

This

Linking Words

implementation may create a more supportive environment for

women

Use synonyms

and force them to realise themselves more freely. It might

also

Linking Words

help them to boost their confidence and diminish female bias in terms of work. Regarding

this

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idea, an equal distribution of high-level vacancies among both genders would diminish the risks of sexual harassment, underestimation and disrespect, resulting in societal equilibrium.

Secondly

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women

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naturally possess some qualities,

such

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as strong stress resistance, that

men

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do not have.

Moreover

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, female workers usually bring unique viewpoints and experiences that can enhance the problem-solving and decision-making processes.

According to

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studies,

women

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perform better than

men

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in 17 of 19 leadership competencies, particularly with tasks that involve critical thinking, being resilient and displaying integrity and honesty. It means that

women

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clearly have what it takes to be excellent leaders. As an example, Coco Chanel should be mentioned , who had revolutionised the whole fashion industry, which previously belonged only to

men

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. In conclusion, I advocate for an equal distribution of leading posts among both genders.

This

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will probably contribute to a balance in society and help

women

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to become free of social stigmas.

aannssttoo

Jul 14, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Add clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This helps the reader understand your main point more easily.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to connect your ideas more, perhaps through transitional phrases. This can improve the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Include more specific examples or data to strengthen your points—this will add more weight to your arguments.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader see your main arguments.

task achievement

You have good points about women's qualities and their potential as leaders, which are well expressed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men, even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50% is female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Children find a difficult to concentrate or pay attention to school. What the reason how can we solve this issue?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well managed. Whta are the advantages and disadvantages?