Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men, even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50% is female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

It is widely observed that most senior positions in different organisations are usually given to men, regardless of 50% of the workforce is
women
Use synonyms
. Some people believe that more managerial posts should be offered to
women
Use synonyms
. I strongly support the given idea because it is important to avoid any possible discrimination.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
should be given a chance to be executives in order to reduce divisiveness and maintain the balance in working structures. There is no vivid difference in personal skills development, as everybody can be a responsible worker and a perfect manager.
This
Linking Words
implementation may create a more supportive environment for
women
Use synonyms
and force them to realise themselves more freely.
According to
Linking Words
studies,
women
Use synonyms
perform better than men in 17 of 19 leadership competencies, particularly with tasks that involve critical thinking, being resilient and displaying integrity and honesty. It means that
women
Use synonyms
clearly have what it takes to be excellent leaders.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if even half of
such
Linking Words
high-level vacancies are allocated to
women
Use synonyms
, the bias that they often experience regarding work will be alleviated. For many years, the only female social role that existed was a mother. Now, it is still rather deviant for society when
women
Use synonyms
become leaders with great responsibilities, because they tend to take care of children.
As a result
Linking Words
, most of the female top managers feel uncomfortable violating society’s expectations. So, companies should give more opportunities for
women
Use synonyms
, in terms of getting senior positions, to change
this
Linking Words
societal phenomenon. In conclusion, I advocate for an equal distribution of leading posts among both genders.
This
Linking Words
will probably contribute to a balance in society and help
women
Use synonyms
to become free of social stigmas.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and sticks to it. This will help with logical flow.
Task Achievement
Use more examples to support your points. Adding real-world examples can make your arguments stronger.
Task Achievement
In the introduction, clearly state your opinion in a more direct way.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a strong argument in favor of women in leadership roles.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: