Most modern family have both parents working and as a result children spend less and less time with their parents. What is the reason for this? What problem can this cause?

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In
this
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day and age, the majority of modern families have both
parents
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working and
due to
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this
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children
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are not able to spend sufficient
time
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with their
parents
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.
This
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essay will illustrate some reasons behind
this
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issue and
also
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some serious problems it could cause.
Firstly
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, many
parents
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who are doing regular jobs are not getting adequate
time
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to spend with their
children
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.
This
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is because of their strict
work
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schedule and financial status. Some companies are not allowing them to do
work
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from home as they want their employees to do their
work
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full-fledged without any deviations.
Apart from
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this
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many working
parents
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are commuting long distances for their
work
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,
as a result
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, they are not able to reach home on
time
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before their
children
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fall asleep.
Secondly
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, even on weekends, not all
parents
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get a week off.
Therefore
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, only during the morning, they were able to spend some
time
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with their offspring which was definitely not enough for them.
Consequently
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, most of the
children
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are struggling to share their problems with their
parents
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. They are
also
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getting stressed because of the insufficient hours they spend with them. The majority of
children
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are not concentrating on their studies and
even
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are even
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scoreless
due to
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their stress regarding their personal
life
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lives
show examples
. On top of that, a lack of proper parenting leads to an increase in juvenile crime.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by the United States proves that 35% of the crimes committed by
children
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were because of improper parenting, as most of the working
parents
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are not sitting and spending
time
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with them. In conclusion, despite their busy schedule, both
parents
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should allocate more
time
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to their offspring to talk with them about their daily life by spending holidays together, going on vacations, watching movies, helping them with their homework and
also
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cooking food for them.
As a result
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, it will definitely increase family bonding and will
also
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help the
children
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to reach success in their lives and to uplift their studies and
career
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careers
show examples
.
Submitted by neejamalan0420 on

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task achievement
Try to integrate more specific examples or data throughout the essay to support your points, rather than relying on one survey.
coherence cohesion
Consider varying sentence structure and length for more dynamic writing.
task achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and provide clarity on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with explanations on why parents have less time and the effects on children.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task by discussing reasons and problems, and suggests solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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