IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open area in towns and cities than build more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era, it is believed by some people that it is essential to plant a plethora of
trees
Use synonyms
 in rural and urban areas than develop more
houses
Use synonyms
. If questioned, I firmly
bolstor
Correct your spelling
bolster
 with
this
Linking Words
 notion. My justification is explained
further
Linking Words
. There are a myriad of reasons why I opine that planting
trees
Use synonyms
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
 a paramount role
instead
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 of
evolve
Change the verb form
evolving
show examples
 the abode. The most pivotal one is
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
for
well-being
Add an article
the well-being
show examples
 of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. To elaborate, more
trees
Use synonyms
 would not only give more oxygen but
also
Linking Words
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
 for
alleviate
Change the verb form
alleviating
show examples
 pollution. One good illustration is that there will be less pollution and healthy people in the towns because of the more greenery.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the bad air
qulity
Correct your spelling
quality
 in the cities can lead to respiratory diseases
such
Linking Words
 as
asthama
Correct your spelling
asthma
,
copd
Correct your spelling
COPD
, lung cancer and so on.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another striking reason is that reducing the greenhouse effect
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
helps to maintain
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
level
Use synonyms
. To add to
this
Linking Words
,
trees
Use synonyms
 can remove carbon dioxide from the air and
relese
Correct your spelling
release
 oxygen which is fruitful for the environment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, because of the weather and temperature
changing
Wrong verb form
changes
show examples
 sea
level
Use synonyms
 is rising every day,
trees
Use synonyms
 can help to
rejuvinate
Correct your spelling
rejuvenate
 the temperature
level
Use synonyms
 and maintain
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
level
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, some may
counter arugue
Correct your spelling
counterargue
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 reasons. To
embark
Verb problem
begin
show examples
 with,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 is increasing alarmingly and one good solution is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to build new
houses
Use synonyms
. In other
worlds
Correct your spelling
words
show examples
, most of the people are living on the roads because of the home crisis. .Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there are
less building
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer buildings
show examples
, price of the rental
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 or
own
Wrong verb form
owned
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 significantly
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, all folks can not afford them
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 from socially or economically deprived families.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it can be
finally
Linking Words
 commented that despite building more
houses
Use synonyms
 for the needy ones, my justification convinces that
trees
Use synonyms
 can be helpful for
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 pollution as well
reduce
Correct word choice
as reduce
show examples
 the effect of
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouses
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 are logically acceptable.

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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from clearer paragraph structure, where each paragraph presents a single main idea and clear supporting details.
task achievement
The response should be more comprehensive and thoroughly address the counterarguments to increase the depth of analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a well-structured introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion well.
task achievement
You've addressed both sides of the argument, which shows balanced consideration of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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