The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

#sales #kinds #games

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The given chart illustrates the different types of digital

games

Use synonyms

that were sold globally between 2000 and 2006, which are divided into four categories.

Overall

Linking Words

, the handheld

games

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had the biggest sales in the given period and experienced an increase gradually

as well as

Linking Words

the mobile phone and online

games

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

console

games

Use synonyms

consistently dropped until the final year. All units are measured in billion dollars. Handheld

games

Use synonyms

initially

Linking Words

started at nearly 12 in 2000 and continuously rose to close

Change preposition

to 18

show examples

in 2006, which was the greatest number.

Likewise

Linking Words

, online

games

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

dramatically went up from the smallest number in 2001 to more than 6 in 2006. Despite the rise, there was a considerable difference between those categories with handheld

games

Use synonyms

generally three times larger compared to online

games

Use synonyms

, placing it in the first position.

Similarly

Linking Words

, mobile phone

games

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

moderately increased to slightly above 6 in 2006

while

Linking Words

having the same sales as online

games

Use synonyms

in 2002.

In contrast

Linking Words

, console

games

Use synonyms

significantly declined from 6 to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

half of it, denoting an enormous decrease and making it the least preferred kind of game in 2006.

Submitted by hanalyaa29 on Fri Dec 27 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words games with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

186 words

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The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006

Learning a language is in childhood is important? Discuss.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others; however, believed that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion

For some people, learning in a group is the most effective method while others prefer one-on-one instruction. Discuss both ideas. What is your opinion?

Some think that young people should be free to choose any career they like, while others say that they should think more realistically about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.