IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #household #expenditures #japan #malaysia #year #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts illustrate the proportion of money
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on different domestic expenses in
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, food, accommodation and other goods and services were the main expenditure in both countries,
while
Linking Words
 the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 payment was for
health-care
Correct your spelling
health care
show examples
. In Malaysian families, the highest group was housing, which accounted for 34% of the total expenditure.
This
Linking Words
 figure was higher than in
Japan
Use synonyms
, with just 21% spent on housing. Japanese householders paid the highest figure for a range of other goods and services, at 29%, which was slightly more than in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
. In terms of food, the figures for both nations were similar, at 24% and 27% for
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 respectively. Expenditure on
health-care
Correct your spelling
health care
show examples
 was the lowest category. In
Japan
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 occupied 6% of the total,
while
Linking Words
 20% of household spending went on transport. These figures were precisely double for
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: