IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Moving different locations
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from rural
areas
Use synonyms
 to mainly
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 mostly common in
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the habitat of rural
areas
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 decreasing day by day.
This
Linking Words
 essay
discuss
Change the verb form
discusses
show examples
 about negative impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the growth of the country. Two primary drivers catalyse
this
Linking Words
 trend. One of the
quest
Change to a plural noun
quests
show examples
 is environmental degradation in
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 believe that to achieve success in life they should move to
big
Add an article
the big
a big
show examples
city
Use synonyms
 but it is totally wrong. If
people
Use synonyms
 have skills, those skills will be worth it in any
area
Use synonyms
as well
Linking Words
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the more
people
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
, there will be a chance of low rate of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
getting
Verb problem
apply
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, hard to find shelter,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
 there will be a scarcity of food. On the second quest, though
people
Use synonyms
 migrate to
city
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 there will be
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 literacy rate in rural
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is hard to find
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to work in different sectors which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the country. Not only will
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 be affected,
rural
Correct word choice
but rural
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 will be directly affected if
people
Use synonyms
 move from one place to another.
For instance
Linking Words
: numerous
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are needed for the construction of roads but if all the workers migrate to
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
area
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it will be really hard for the government to find
out
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apply
show examples
the workers. In
this
Linking Words
 era of digital,
people
Use synonyms
 make friends easily
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and because of that
people
Use synonyms
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
 to experience
city
Use synonyms
 life because of
influence
Correct article usage
the influence
show examples
 of friends they started to move
city
Use synonyms
 thinking it
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a better idea. In my perspective,
people
Use synonyms
 migrating to
city
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
 will not only bring
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 degradation,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 will
Rephrase
also creates
show examples
creates
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems regarding jobs,
house
Wrong verb form
housing
show examples
,
food
Correct word choice
and food
show examples
 in both
areas
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Try to provide concrete examples to support your points. For instance, mention a specific city that has faced challenges due to increased migration from rural areas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop each paragraph more thoroughly, ensuring that each point you make is clearly supported by evidence or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on constructing more varied sentence structures and using transition words to enhance the flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
The essay discusses two primary drivers of rural to urban migration, addressing both environmental and social consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a structure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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