IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All university students should do some voluntary work to help the local community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #students #work #community
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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
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students
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 join some voluntary
work
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 to help local communities, which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been rapidly increasing. In my opinion, I strongly believe that there are more benefits than disadvantages. On the one hand, there are always disadvantages when
university
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students
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 do voluntary activities. In my opinion, when they focus too much on
volunteer
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work
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, their studies will decline. Not only that, when they do too much
volunteer
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work
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, they will feel tired.
For example
Linking Words
, when they do too much
volunteer
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work
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, they will not have much time for themselves and their families.
This
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 is because they have spent too much of their own time on
volunteer
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work
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.
However
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, there are advantages when
university
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students
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 do voluntary activities. They will have memorable experiences. Outweigh
university
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students
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 will have life experiences.
Besides
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 that, they will help the community. The reason is that
university
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students
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 who do
volunteer
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 activities will understand more about society. They will spend more time learning about it.
This
Linking Words
 is because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
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students
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do
Verb problem
apply
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voluntarily become more active.
For example
Linking Words
,
university
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students
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 who
volunteer
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 will have social skills. They will have college training points. Thanks to that, they will be able to get high marks in school.
Moreover
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,
university
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students
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 have more social relationships. It leads to their future
work
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 being greatly supported. We have a reason for that,
university
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students
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 will make many new friends if they
volunteer
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. In conclusion, it is good for
university
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students
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 to
volunteer
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, but they must know how to balance studying and volunteering.
Submitted by linh.le0995 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific volunteer activities and how they directly benefit the community.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next to enhance coherence. Transition words and phrases can help in this aspect.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your main points with concise explanations and avoid repetition to keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and provides reasons for both the advantages and disadvantages of volunteering.
coherence cohesion
A well-structured introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay outlines both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The use of examples, like balancing study and volunteering, aids in illustrating the points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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