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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduates degree course.The table shows the salaries of the Anthropologists in work after five years.

the chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduates degree course.The table shows the salaries of the Anthropologists in work after five years.
#anthropology #graduates #university #undergraduates #course #salaries #anthropologists #work #five #years
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what type of job
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Anthropology
grauated
Correct your spelling
graduated
graduate
 students
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
, after
fishing
Verb problem
finishing
show examples
 their course
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 one particular university.
And the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 table gives data about their various income after 5 years of working.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 is that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are
accupied
Correct your spelling
occupied
 in a
full- time
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 job.
While
Linking Words
, by looking at the
chart
Use synonyms
, it seems that over a half of them are earning more than average. regarding
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
, Over half of the graduated students were successful
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
 a
Full-time
Fix capitalization
full-time
show examples
 job.
People
Use synonyms
how
Correct word choice
who
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 do part-time work
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 ranked second by
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 difference from the first place, with 15%. The unemployed come next with 12%. At
this
Linking Words
 point, The full-time
postgragrad
Correct your spelling
postgrad
 study and The not known are tied in the list with 8% and only 5% of them are categorised in The part-time work + postgrad study. As for the
chart
Use synonyms
, we can see that the
pertantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of
people
Use synonyms
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
work
Add the particle
to work
show examples
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
 freelance consultants are gradually increasing
as well as
Linking Words
 their incomes, starting from $25,000
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 5% to $100,000
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 40%.
As
Change preposition
With
show examples
 regard to the Government sector same trend is noticeable
whereas
Linking Words
 half of the workers are earning the highest income with $100,000 and 30% of them
are taking
Wrong verb form
earn
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 $75000.
Lokking
Correct your spelling
Looking
 at the details
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 private companies, it seems that the
percantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
percentage
 of
people
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 income of between $50000 and $100000
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated around 30%.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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